fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #2767 ]

⌈ Secret Post #2767 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Work. Again. Sorry if response time is slow. :(

Secrets Left to Post: 01 pages, 011 secrets from Secret Submission Post #394.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 1 - too big (also random unsubstantiated claims about famous people) ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

A lot, probably. I'm a pretty closed off person.

But I'm super selective about who I let know about what I've been diagnosed with and haven't even told close friends I've had for years.

What people do know: I'd never knowingly hurt an innocent. I just don't have it in me, and I'm too scared of punishment.
What people don't know: I've always wanted to kill someone. I know this isn't how it works, but I feel like every bit of anger I've ever felt is still pent up inside me because I haven't been able or willing to take it out on anyone.

Part of me is morbidly waiting to be attacked on the street so I can finally unleash all that rage. The other part knows I'm a weakling and would be quickly overpowered if that ever happened. And if I were stronger than the attacker, I'd probably be arrested because then it would be overkill on my part. (Plus, there's the risk of Tumblr finding out and making me their next big wankfest. I don't want to be some SJW's new idol for ridding the world of cishet male scum or whatever.)

Sounds like you need to jump to the year 2022 or whenever The Purge goes into effect.

If you have time/money, why not pick up a sport or martial art lessons? The point isn't so much to beat the shit out of your partners, but I think it would help with the pent up energy thing you got going.

Echoing what cloud said about taking up a martial art. I've got similar anger issues, and having a physical outlet for them, that's about embracing the violence within me, but also about controlling it, really helps.

Why?

What I get up to in the Internet.

I don't tell people about my health issues, even on the internet where I pretty much tell everyone everything. Irl, people don't know that much about me. Apparently I'm "cold and reserved," which doesn't feel like me AT ALL, but I get it from people a lot. I guess because I don't socialize a lot at work.

A lot - but, basically all of my fandom/fanfic stuff. I keep that separate from my r/l stuff.

same. I try to keep them pretty separate because I know most people wouldn't understand.

Same here. There are two rl people that know for certain but otherwise no one else knows and I don't talk about it in public ever because I'm of the mind that most people wont get it.

Same here! The only person IRL that knows about my fanfic writing is my husband.

I'll talk about my interests and mention things I read/saw online, but I don't talk about fanfic or anything. I would never tell someone IRL about my tumblr account, lol. I'm not comfortable with those parts of my life being connected.

Oh, I do have meta discussions about shows and stuff. But I don't really do the shippy stuff with r/l people. And the porn, yeah not the porn.

I do sometimes mention shippy stuff, but mostly when it's het because otherwise I don't know how people will react. (And I live in a quiet part of Texas where plenty of people are still homophobic and it's tiresome.)

The porn, though... Hell yea, the porn stays separate.

Ah, that sucks. There's only three people who really know I like slash: A friend who writes it herself, my ex, and my boyfriend. The latter likes to tease me about it. We had this weird evening yesterday where we basically just browsed the internet for fan art.

Still, even he's not quite aware of all my ships and certainly not my fics.

Re: What's something most people don't know about you?

elaminator - 2014-08-01 02:24 (UTC) - Expand

kallanda_lee - 2014-08-01 02:55 (UTC) - Expand

I have two people who know I write fanfiction: my husband and my closest friend. Otherwise, I keep it mum.

Dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun SLASH! AH HA!

Saviour of the universe.

I'm the one that started the wank thread in the YJ anon meme because I didn't think that Wally was going to automatically grow up into a rapist because he was a teenage flirt. I also thought, and still think to an extent, that M'gann was slightly to blame for never actually saying anything to Wally about the flirting, apparently forgetting that not everyone was psychic like her.

I have no regrets to this day.

If I get a cut in my mouth, I keep spitting the blood out to swallow as little of it as possible. When my father cuts his finger, he licks up the blood, but I would never willingly do something like that. (There's nothing rational about this--I just have an aversion to blood.)

I collect my own blood in a jar. I joke it about it with a single person but it's a very serious thing to me.

Why do you do this?

ayrt
Some grief issues. I know it's messed up and I've already ruined a few veins, but I can't stop. The friend I joke about it with has no idea why I do it.

The depth of my shipping obsessions.

I don't even let fandom know how obsessed I get.