fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #2767 ]

[ SECRET POST #2767 ]

⌈ Secret Post #2767 ⌋

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My niece just got her first period. She has autism so right now she is freaking out about the blood. We have her in a bath while my sister runs to get her small pads. She is flying home in two days as well. -_-

My sister has talked to her about this. Her older sister also talked to her about it. It is not helping.

Any advice from parents of young girls or special needs kids?

Hmm. Could you tell her it's not blood, it only looks like blood? Since she doesn't understand it's normal blood loss?

Ah, bit too late for that. And I figure if we told her that now she would find out later what it really is. She seems to have calmed down a bit. We got her a variety of pads for her to use.

Does she understand that it will stop eventually? My daughter had the mistaken impression that it would be continuous.

We have tried telling her but I don't think she understands. She thinks she is hurt (even though we have told her several times she is not). She doesn't want to move because she thinks it will hurt more. For her blood=wound.

Oh, poor sweetie. :(

My daughter hasn't had her first period yet but she's really nervous about it.

I wish had some better advice to offer because I hate the idea of her being so scared and feeling so helpless. That makes all my Mom senses come to the fore.

She seems to be a bit calmer (for now). We got her like 4 different kinds of pads so she could pick (she has a sensory/texture issue). At least this means my sis and her doctor can start looking at various birth controls.

A lot of special needs kids respond to positive reinforcement in traumatic situations. It's all about framing.

Does she have any "safe" positions or self comfort techniques that have worked in the past? Perhaps a favorite object?

I would suggest supplying her with a favorite object (blanket, stuffed animal, video game, etc) and approaching the situation with as much positivity as you can muster. A lot of yaaaayyyy! Congratulations! Oh look at you, you're becoming a woman, etc.

Taking her out of the current environment is often a useful tool as well. If she tends to respond to public situations well, you could offer to take her out for ice cream to celebrate.

She doesn't really have any positions or self comfort techniques. And unfortunately most of her favorite stuff is back home (they are visiting from across the country).

She has her iPad so we have given her that. She has calmed down quite a bit for now. Hopefully she will realize that she isn't actually hurt (she doesn't want to sit down because she is afraid it will hurt [despite what we say]).

Is she generally suggestible? If you, say, gave her a pillow from your bed and said "this is my special pillow, I use it when I have bleeding too. It makes it so you can sit on it without it ever hurting," would she be amenable to a thing like that?

I am not sure about the extent of her autism, or how she regularly communicates/interacts with her caregivers or her environment, but techniques like that have worked with people I have dealt with in the past when they haven't been able to understand a literal concept or they are experiencing a psychosomatic response, hallucination, or are prone to conversion disorders.

We told her the pads were bandages because that is the closest thing we could think of when dealing with blood.

She is much calmer now. Hopefully this first period will be short and light.

Thank you for your advice!

Any time! Big props to her mom and you. I know firsthand how specific the needs of people with autism can be, and her having an experience like that in a (relatively) unfamiliar environment is really not the ideal.

Good luck.

PS. If you can get her to take some medication for pain, do it as a prophylactic. Don't wait for her to actually be in pain, just give her the pill to prevent it. All the ibuprofen in the world isn't going to harm her, and it will likely be better than trying to deal with her in the event that she does experience any cramping.

Oh yeah, we gave her some ibuprofen as soon as we got it. Better safe than sorry.

IDK if this will work, but have you tried showing her how, even though all that blood looks really scary, it's actually only about a third of a cup, max, over 5 days? And that's the high side of normal--usually girls only lose about a 6th of a cup (or 35 ml if you live in a country with sensible measuring systems.) That's less than a dixie cup. If you physically show her how little blood that is, and over such a long span of time, maybe that will help her believe she'll be okay?

Also, this might be a stupid question, but is she having cramps? That might influence her belief that she's about to bleed to death. Would there be any harm in giving her a midol or children's painkiller, so she believes that you all are actively doing something to help her?

I've never been in this situation, and it sounds like it sucks really bad. I hope everything calms down for you soon.

Fortunately she is not having cramps yet. We got some liquid ibuprofen in case she does.

Even though most isn't blood, just the sight of it is freaking her out. But she is calmer now. Hopefully this first one will be short and light.

Not a parent, but autistic and always had an awful time with them. Can you find a reading-level-appropriate book about it for her? I had one that explained precisely what was going on in clear language, basically saying, "It usually lasts [x] days, but some have shorter or longer ones, here is exactly what's happening, here is WHY it's happening, here are some other people's experiences", and also had a section at the back that basically had... a whole range of people saying how they felt during their periods, like someone who wanted to curl up and cry, or someone who felt very connected to the world, or someone who craved strawberries constantly, or someone who felt very energetic, and basically reinforced that there's no wrong way to have a period.

Also, get her chocolate. Chocolate is always good.

We found a couple of social stories for her to look at online. But will have to wait until this weekend to look for actual books.

I'd suggest the American Girl book. I think it's "Care and Keeping of You". It goes into a lot of detail that isn't just periods, but it's very good at being compassionate and allaying fears about periods specifically. I tend to suggest it for any girl hitting puberty, because it addresses a lot of common fears and insecurities associated with such.

ooh. I wish I had more to say but all the advice here is good. I imagine that once this is over and it stops, she'll come to realize that it's not permanent. The next one won't be fun, but after a few she will realize they're just a regular occurrence that will go away.

I'm sorry it's so rough for her. :( I hope it gets easier soon and having more access to resources at home also helps.

Yeah, my sis will be able to talk to her doctor and therapists once she goes home. Thankfully that is in like 3 days.

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[ SECRET POST #2767 ]

Terrible Timing to get your first period

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Re: Terrible Timing to get your first period

Re: Terrible Timing to get your first period

Re: Terrible Timing to get your first period

Re: Terrible Timing to get your first period

Re: Terrible Timing to get your first period

Re: Terrible Timing to get your first period

Re: Terrible Timing to get your first period

Re: Terrible Timing to get your first period

Re: Terrible Timing to get your first period

Re: Terrible Timing to get your first period

Re: Terrible Timing to get your first period

Re: Terrible Timing to get your first period

Re: Terrible Timing to get your first period

Re: Terrible Timing to get your first period

Re: Terrible Timing to get your first period

Re: Terrible Timing to get your first period

Re: Terrible Timing to get your first period

Re: Terrible Timing to get your first period