[ SECRET POST #2780 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2780 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 034 secrets from Secret Submission Post #397.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 1 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[littlestbirds]

nah can we stop acting as if there is something objectively enjoyable about shipfic when you're not into the ship. There might be a few in every fandom, but certainly not enough that they're worth looking for.

[(Anonymous)]

I was making a joke about the phrase 'duelling dicks', friend. Clearly unsuccessfully.

[(Anonymous)]

Yeah, I've never seen the phrase dueling dicks before.

Dueling tongues, though? Everywhere, in het/slash/femslash. Bad writing is rough.

Dueling Dicks: Slashing Blades!

[(Anonymous)]

The two Dicks rose at the crack of Don. Their weapons were long, and both had been sharpened until they were hard and ready, no matter what pains it cost them.

The Dicks took their allotted places on the densely forested triangle known to some adepts as the Mound of Venus. Thatch claimed the approach to the mound and knotted the way tightly. It was only after some more pains, and finally reaching the point known as the Clit Tower of Ys, that satisfaction towards their true love, the cause of their joint strife, could even be attempted. It took longer than expected, but such is often the way with such endeavours.

At last, the field of grappling!

Each of the seconds held aloft the traditional sign of battle: the slightly soiled tissue. And with a flash! the tussle commenced between the two Dicks, each one vying to come first in the exertion.

Dick was down. No, Dick was up! No, Dick had pierced the other man's vitals! Both men's life fluids ran freely. The seconds, seeing each man sweating and spent, called for an end to their efforts.

A surgeon examined both Dicks. He pronounced them a lost cause.

"These men," the surgeon said, "Have been foolish indeed today, and expired from too much innuendo. A sad case, and one I will never fall prey to myself. My fee will be thirty dong*. I bid you good day, and thank you."


* Obviously he was a Vietnamese doctor.