fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #2791 ]

[ SECRET POST #2791 ]

⌈ Secret Post #2791 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 03 pages, 058 secrets from Secret Submission Post #399.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ], [ 1 - posted twice ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

I don't know how to do fandom. How to start discussion, how to find fandom friends, etc... I have tried before, but I'm too arkward and too afraid to post what I think, and eventually just give up. I can't even post on FS, though I come here daily and have an account (mostly because of timezone), and sometimes when I try to enter a discussion I'm scared that I'm contributing nothing and is just a hindrance. The fact that my fandoms are small and obscure doesn't help.
It feels lonely :(

Yeah, this is similiar to my issue too. I want to make friends, but I'm too scared to put myself out there.

I can even draw sort of well, so I could potentially make friends that way but I still can't do it.

AYRT
I do draw too but I find it hard to share it...

It probably won't help, but honestly...even if you aren't contributing anything new and ~exciting~ to the discussion, would that be the worst possible situation? As long as you're enjoying yourself that's enough! We have plenty of folks here who agree with each other, and sometimes they don't have much more to add, but people don't tend to jump on them for it. (Hell, sometimes I just '+1' and leave myself.)

Not that I don't get not wanting to comment because of fear (I used to feel like that constantly), but well...you shouldn't think of yourself as a hindrance. It's just fandom, it should be fun; you don't have anything to feel bad about.

AYRT
I tend to overthink a lot, everytime I post something online - be it personal or fandom - I think about people being able to read it, then their thought about it, what if they think it was stupid, what if they secretly laugh at it, or worst of all, what if nobody cares. Nobody would care of what I think, they mostly don't in real life... It's a stupid circle, but I can't help it and eventually I lost interest altogether. (It's also the reason why my facebook page is mostly empty. After all, if I can't face strangers on the internet knowing my thoughts how can I to people I actually know).
It doesn't help that I'm just not that good at expressing myself, both IRL and by words. I'm not at the level of Englsh to have a decent debate, and websites in my native language seemes to be dominated by teenagers who like to squee and talk about feels.
Anyway, thanks for replying and giving me encouragment, I think I will try to associate more, starting with this site since there seems to be lots of nice people here. I apologize if I bore you whith my rant.

You aren't boring! And I understood what you said perfectly, so your English seems a-okay to me!

It sounds like you suffer from low self-esteem and anxiety, but if that's true, hey, don't feel ashamed; lots of people have those problems. I have them too, it's just something you have to work on. The best way to overcome that kind of thing is just to try not caring so much. If you put yourself out there people might reply, and they might not, but at least you said what you wanted to say, right? So it's kind of a weight off your chest, but you never know what's going to happen; maybe you'll attract some attention and find someone to talk with. You never know if you don't try.

I hope you continue to comment! If you don't I get it, but I'll look forward to talking to you again. (Even if I won't realize it's you, lol.)

Being involved in fandom really does vary in difficulty depending on the fandoms you're in. Even if you're not contributing anything but are still having a good time then I count that as a good thing. I get the fear of putting yourself out there at the risk of being ignored or flamed but if you are looking for fandom discussion I think FS is a good place to go, and while it can get unpleasant there are plenty of cool people to balance it out.

Nor me, I think. In over 15 years I can't say fandom has really lead to permanent friendships. But, I'm socially awkward in real life, and it's even worse on the internet.

/butting in to say "You don't seem socially awkward to me!"/

Which...I know from experience doesn't necessarily mean anything (you can be smooth as hell online and socially awkward off, or vice versa), so...we can all be socially awkward together.

Thank you!

I guess a lot of it is perception (on both ends), but I seem to somehow miss the cues that people have when they dislike or like each other, often.

Honestly, I don't either. I just post crap. I don't even expect a reply. Most of the time I forget where/what I've posted and don't always go back to see if someone replied. I kind of act online how I do irl since I pretty much do the same thing. I have conversations with people to varying degrees and then I don't get contact info. If I do, I rarely follow up on it. So, I guess do the opposite of what I do?

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