fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #2802 ]

⌈ Secret Post #2802 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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[Warriors]

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[Harry Potter]

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[Sweet Fuse: At Your Side]

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[Stargate Atlantis]

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[Black M]

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[The Lyon's Den]

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[Hannah Simone]

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[Bouletcorp]

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 01 pages, 018 secrets from Secret Submission Post #400.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

You do not. You sound like a reasonable person who has her privacy violated and what should be a place of healing turned into one of manipulation. You've talked to me about your parents before, but this raises even more red flags with me than that conversation. :(

Thanks.

It was a while ago that it happened and all I want is to have my parents be accountable for what they say to me. So they don't think they can just say something hurtful then brush it off as joking or or denying it was said.

That is a 100% reasonable expectation for your interactions with your parents.

oh man I know that feel. like people can't take accountability for what they say/do and there's nothing you can do about it. SO FRUSTRATING.

Yeah their whole thing is "you're OUR child"/"this is OUR house"/"we're your parents we deserve respect"

My mom does that ALL the time.

Her favorite phrases include "you don't have to take it so SERIOUSLY" and "I'M NOT SAYING IT TO BE MEEEAAAAN." Or her go-to phrase when called on her bullshit, "Ugh! Well, I didn't MEAN it like THAT!" when yes, she very much did mean it that way at the time or at least had such an over-the-top screaming reaction that it's hard to imagine anything else was meant. (is it any wonder I was an easy hyper-sensitive target for bullies in school?)

I hate to tell you this, Jaybie, but what you want and what you can make them do are two different things. You can't control what others do, you can only control your reactions to them. You're not responsible for them, no matter how they act. But you can draw boundaries and subject them to certain consequences for their behavior. By that I mean shutting down a subject it sounds like they're not respecting what you have to say, or saying "I'll keep that in mind" when they start on with that paranoia bullcrap (but don't actually take their advice seriously). If you get your own place, I'm not saying to "hold hostage" any visiting time, because it's not about revenge, but if your parents start disrespecting you, you can offer to visit on a different day when they're in better moods. Or not at all. Just depends on the offense, and how badly you need to save your sanity.

Thanks.

I'll work on that.I'd like to think that things will get better when I can be on my own. I have this theory that when they finally see that I can manage and take care of myself that might realize that I can be an adult and be treated (and respected) like one.

[ SECRET POST #2802 ]

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