fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #2802 ]

⌈ Secret Post #2802 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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[Warriors]

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[Harry Potter]

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[Sweet Fuse: At Your Side]

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[Stargate Atlantis]

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[Black M]

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[The Lyon's Den]

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[Hannah Simone]

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[Bouletcorp]

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 01 pages, 018 secrets from Secret Submission Post #400.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Sorry if I sound bitchy and resentful. I probably am. I feel like a horrible person and I just just shut up about it

This might be a stupid question, but have you ever watched Tangled? This is giving me serious Mother Gothel vibes. (I have an aunt who looks, talks, and acts exactly like Mother Gothel, so I'm familiar with the type.)

Yeah I have.
the rough thing is at her best she's great but sometimes she's like....that.

I figure I can try not taking the harsh things to heart. and talking with my next psychologist about it

*hugs if wanted* You don't sound bitchy. Your mom is probably just telling you anything and everything she can think of, but those sound like awfully callous reminders. Reign it in, mom. She sounds kind of manipulative, sorry to say.

That's really shitty of your last psychologist. The only thing I can think is that they saw you as a minor and went straight to your mother in a school-related issue? But if you're an adult now, a psychologist should treat you like one. A different psychologist.

-anon who just started therapy and has already mentioned a previous counselor's bad advice

*hugs freely taken*

She's nice sometimes but othertimes.....Geez. She can be. Her and my Dad sometimes seem to have the idea they can do anything because its their house.

I guess so. and I hope so at least. I plan on getting a different one.

IA. and frankly, even if you're a minor? your psychologist should respect your privacy (when it's not about abuse of course).

Don't apologize for being bitchy and resentful. Speaking of "manipulating," it sounds like your mom might the one with a talent for it.

But I admit I may be projecting too.

I do think you should try to seek out a psychologist on your own, and decide for yourself if said psychologist sucks. And either don't mention this person to your mom, but if you do, and your mom comes up with another story of how your psychologist "supposedly" was manipulated by you, you may want to confirm that with your psychologist before ending the sessions.

*nod* The only hard part is that I don't drive...so...I can't do anything secret from them

But I think I'll talk with my psychologist in private if my mom mentions something like that again.

You do not. You sound like a reasonable person who has her privacy violated and what should be a place of healing turned into one of manipulation. You've talked to me about your parents before, but this raises even more red flags with me than that conversation. :(

Thanks.

It was a while ago that it happened and all I want is to have my parents be accountable for what they say to me. So they don't think they can just say something hurtful then brush it off as joking or or denying it was said.

That is a 100% reasonable expectation for your interactions with your parents.

oh man I know that feel. like people can't take accountability for what they say/do and there's nothing you can do about it. SO FRUSTRATING.

Yeah their whole thing is "you're OUR child"/"this is OUR house"/"we're your parents we deserve respect"

My mom does that ALL the time.

Her favorite phrases include "you don't have to take it so SERIOUSLY" and "I'M NOT SAYING IT TO BE MEEEAAAAN." Or her go-to phrase when called on her bullshit, "Ugh! Well, I didn't MEAN it like THAT!" when yes, she very much did mean it that way at the time or at least had such an over-the-top screaming reaction that it's hard to imagine anything else was meant. (is it any wonder I was an easy hyper-sensitive target for bullies in school?)

I hate to tell you this, Jaybie, but what you want and what you can make them do are two different things. You can't control what others do, you can only control your reactions to them. You're not responsible for them, no matter how they act. But you can draw boundaries and subject them to certain consequences for their behavior. By that I mean shutting down a subject it sounds like they're not respecting what you have to say, or saying "I'll keep that in mind" when they start on with that paranoia bullcrap (but don't actually take their advice seriously). If you get your own place, I'm not saying to "hold hostage" any visiting time, because it's not about revenge, but if your parents start disrespecting you, you can offer to visit on a different day when they're in better moods. Or not at all. Just depends on the offense, and how badly you need to save your sanity.

Thanks.

I'll work on that.I'd like to think that things will get better when I can be on my own. I have this theory that when they finally see that I can manage and take care of myself that might realize that I can be an adult and be treated (and respected) like one.

[ SECRET POST #2802 ]

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