[ SECRET POST #2812 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2812 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 047 secrets from Secret Submission Post #402.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

maybe you should stop trying to shame and guilt trip women who enjoy mild "abuse" in their stories

[jaybie_jarrett]

Um what...

*sigh*

Okay I miswrote that. The problem is not that the relationship is abusive. It's that EL James refuses to admit that the BDSM practice in her story is abusive and inaccurate, glorifying a harmful relationship.

Also the whole series is basically: "But I can CHANGE him" : The Novel. That's...kind of a dangerous mindset.

I don't care if people enjoy abuse in their stories. Just as long as they'll admit it IS abuse.

[(Anonymous)]

I don't know about bdsm and don't really care
but that mindset is part of the fantasy and it turns true in the book
it's called good ol' narcissism and it's really satisfying
so unless you first recognize it's not abuse that turns out bad you're not going anywhere really

[jaybie_jarrett]

Well....it can still be damaging if people go into BDSM thinking this is what it is...and they end up getting abused.

Also it makes the BDSM community look bad if people think 50 Shades is 100% correct. That's the problem. It's not just 'shaming people'

It's not wanting people to get hurt because of poorly researched BDSM. I think everyone can agree that preventing people from ending up in an abusive relationship is a very good thing.

[(Anonymous)]

As one with what this community likes to call "problematic" kinks I refuse to be held responsible for some stranger's life choices when *I* have consumed tons of "problematic" media and *my* life is pretty fuckin' great, thank you. If I have to play mommy for idiots who shouldn't even be allowed outside then I demand to be paid handsomely for it.

[jaybie_jarrett]

Right whatever *rolls eyes*


I'm not fan of calling everything problematic either. but there ARE issues with 50 Shades. If you refuse to acknowledged them then whatever.

[(Anonymous)]

DA

You probably shouldn't bother, tbh. This has been discussed to death before on here and neither side gets anywhere.

[jaybie_jarrett]

Ahh yeah.

I think I can take a break now.

[(Anonymous)]

What do people here expect to gain really?
People stop liking what you don't like?
Companies start putting on their products misleading labels that might turn away customers?
The entertainment industry kill itself because it's supposed to entertain, not to educate?
It's always and only women that get scrutinized. It's always and only women that are demanded they care about random strangers just because *gasp!* they exist. Fucking hell this doesn't happen to men. Since everyone seems to be trying to guilt me for my thoughts, everyone's who not part of my family or friends can go die in a fire.

^

[(Anonymous)]

and this ladies and gentleman is what we call a 'bitchfit'

Re: ^

[(Anonymous)]

And it's 100% true.

[(Anonymous)]

"everyone seems to be trying to guilt me for my thoughts"

dear radfem anon that still has not learned to use line breaks

a lot of us don't really give a damn what your thoughts are. it's plain ol narcissism to assume we all do

gl hf with that attitude

[(Anonymous)]

If people didn't give a fuck about other people's thoughts they wouldn't throw a bitchfit when a woman romanticizes rape, just sayin'.

[(Anonymous)]

You can romanticize rape all you want, and talk about how and why you do. And other people can talk about how there are social problems with romanticizing rape, and talk about how and why they think that.

The problem with you and people like you is that what you really want is asspats for liking a thing. You don't want anyone else to say that they don't like the thing that you like, or to criticize the thing that you like. You bitch and whine about people telling you what you can and cannot read while, at the same time, telling people what they can and cannot criticize.

I like shit that's problematic, but I don't throw a tantrum every time someone points out that it's problematic because I've accepted it and I'm old enough to realize that not everyone is going to be okay with the things that I like and do. If you want people to get off of their high horses, then you ought to get the fuck off your own.

[(Anonymous)]

Except I'm not the one crying wolf about social problems all the fucking time and I'm not the one that gets unwanted criticism on shit already heard pushed in her face 24/7. If people want me to respect their opinions then it's time their start respecting mine too already.

[(Anonymous)]

"It's always and only women that get scrutinized. It's always and only women that are demanded they care about random strangers just because *gasp!* they exist. Fucking hell this doesn't happen to men."

"I'm not the one crying wolf about social problems all the fucking time"

oh

"If people want me to respect their opinions then it's time their start respecting mine too already."

"everyone's who not part of my family or friends can go die in a fire."

i think i see your problem here anon

[(Anonymous)]

What are people crying wolf about, exactly? Abusive relationships happen, they look almost exactly like what's portrayed in the books, and a lot of women are told that they can end abuse by being submissive enough (there's a popular marriage manual in the fundamentalist Christian community that gives that exact message). This...actually is a real problem. The books didn't create it, but they do reflect it.

It's true that fiction is not reality, and people have kinks that they know they should never actually experience. With 50 Shades, I think what people worry about is the reinforcement of a harmful message that already exists.

[(Anonymous)]

I agree with the point you're trying to get across, but these are 50 Shades of Gray fans you're trying to reason with here. They have all been some of the most obtuse people I have ever met. I say give it up and let them go blindly into the world of BDSM and not understand that they should expect hurt, not harm. Which, if E. L. James or her fans had a legit clue, they'd understand that there is a distinct difference between the two in the BDSM world. Who needs basic respect, right?

[elialshadowpine]

IDEK what people are going on about; speaking as someone in the BDSM community, I wrote an entire fucking essay (if you want the link I'll dig it up) about how there are predatory doms in the community, that primarily prey on young women new to the scene, and they look a lot like Christian Grey. Basically the only main difference is they aren't billionaires and thus don't have 24/7 "security" (but really I'm fairly certain "hired killers" is just as good a descriptor) to trail and force compliance, nor can they hack into phones to track GPS or any of the similarly Bond-esque and technologically impossible harassment implements.

The behavior, though? Yeah, that's why my fiancee and her husband ended up on the Safety board for the BDSM group in their local area; it was formed primarily to deal with 2-3 members who were regularly behaving predatory towards, again, especially young, new women. They didn't really have rules priorly, because the original group founders had the "oh, but that doesn't happen here" mindset that is both infuriatingly common and wrong. The behavior is dead-on and to those of us in the BDSM scene who aren't beset with the aforementioned rose-colored glasses, fucking scary in its accuracy.

[(Anonymous)]

The behaviour can't be dead-on if they don't fall in love with said young women and have a happy ending with them.

[(Anonymous)]

I don't know what point you're trying to make here, considering it's pretty obvious that nonny is referring to the depiction of the abuse and not the resolution of it.

[(Anonymous)]

The depiction of the abuse that nonny is referring to is not present in the book as the resolution to it is entirely different.

[(Anonymous)]

I'm sorry, did you just claim that if you love someone, it's not abuse?

Wow... I don't even know where to start with that bullshit. How fucking clueless are you? Don't bother answering that. We all know the answer already.

[(Anonymous)]

That is not what my post said at all, but nice projection.

[(Anonymous)]

They can't be exactly like Christian Grey if they act nothing like Christian Grey. If you want to pick and choose behaviours, then make all due distinctions. If you're trying to shed a bad image on a character you don't like because of your own personal bias then just say so.