[ SECRET POST #2814 ]

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⌈ Secret Post #2814 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 029 secrets from Secret Submission Post #402.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

Re: Funerals and awkwardness

[(Anonymous)]

Go. It's a good way to say goodbye, and seeing other people there helps those very close to him deal with his loss.

The procedure is very simple. You dress somberly, you go, you shake the hands of immediate family and say, "My condolences" or "I'm very sorry for your loss". After the funeral (+ burial or other ceremony if applicable) you're there for the family and friends, rather than for the deceased. So you mingle, you share stories about the friend, you offer support and, when it seems appropriate, you leave.

If you decide not to go (ceremonies and grief are difficult things and not everyone is up to it and if, after what seems to have been a VERY grief-filled year for you, you decide you can't deal with it, that'd be completely understandable), then do send the family flowers or a sympathy card as you feel is appropriate. Sometimes, the deceased's family requests that flowers NOT be sent, so just discretely ask - sometimes it's easiest to ask the funeral home rather than the family- if they'd be welcome.


... yeah, I've totally done this far more often that I'd like. I've been the immediate family (in which case even if it feels empty to the one saying it, I can tell you those simple words mean a great deal - it's nice to know that other people appreciated your person and will miss them, too), I've been a friend of immediate family (more there for the friend, never met the deceased), been only professionally connected, etc, etc. Just about the only position I haven't been yet in a funeral is the corpse.