case: (Default)
Case ([personal profile] case) wrote in [community profile] fandomsecrets2014-09-17 07:11 pm

[ SECRET POST #2815 ]


⌈ Secret Post #2815 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

01.


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02.


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03.
[John Green]


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04.
(Hemlock Grove)


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05.


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06.


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07. [posted twice]


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08.
[Russell Edwards' Naming Jack the Ripper]


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09.
[Coronation Street]
















Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 01 pages, 020 secrets from Secret Submission Post #402.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

(Anonymous) 2014-09-18 04:31 am (UTC)(link)
Wow, why did this turn into a giant thread? We get it, you have a shitty life with shitty parents. We don't need to hear about it every other day.

(Anonymous) 2014-09-18 04:38 am (UTC)(link)
If you don't like a named user, just skip threads with username. This is like second grade reasoning.

(Anonymous) 2014-09-18 04:44 am (UTC)(link)
She's been given all of that advice elsewhere, pretty much every last little bit, and did not use any of it then. I doubt she will now as well.

(Anonymous) 2014-09-18 05:15 am (UTC)(link)
Dude, is your scroll bar broken? There are apparently a whole bunch of commenters above you who do care, so tuck your hateboner back in your pants and move on. Jeez.

(Anonymous) 2014-09-18 11:35 am (UTC)(link)
Wow, did you come to F!S to tell certain posters you don't give a shit about their genuine problems? We get it, you lack empathy for others. We don't need to hear about it every other day.

(Anonymous) 2014-09-18 12:15 pm (UTC)(link)
DA

It's one thing to give a shit, but this girl just will not be helped no matter who says what to her. I imagine you've all seen the pattern by now, she comes in and whines about this, that, and that other thing. A few secret posts later, same deal. Repeat to infinity, no matter who gives the advice or how good it is she'll never actually use it, even if she says she will.

(Anonymous) 2014-09-18 11:15 pm (UTC)(link)
A complete lack of support is one of the things that keeps a person from improving. No one encourages them, no one acknowledges their accomplishments, no one gets them to look at their own accomplishments and continue from there.

When you've lived a life where all you've experienced is discouragement, invalidation, inconsistent truths, and insults to your intelligence, you don't change overnight.

I'll admit to not monitoring jaybie's posts or their content, so I don't know how often she speaks of her home life, and I haven't seen how seriously she takes advice. But I can tell you this. It isn't enough to simply tell someone to "get out." For someone who's grown accustomed to a certain way of life, it isn't that easy. It can take a lot of encouragement and patience to get a person to leave an environment in which they do not flourish. Especially if they feel some loyalty to someone else in that environment. And even after that, they need to be deprogrammed of certain behaviors and responses and reprogrammed so that they do not fall back into their old ways and let themselves get taken advantage of.

Saying "this girl will not be helped" is not helpful. Is she just a lazy jerk who makes excuses all the time? That's a possibility, but blaming her for "not being helped" is not going to help her change, any more than her parents' dismissive "huh huh, you're 18, you don't have to stay here" is going to get her to move out. If you tried to give her advice in the past and failed, it just means the problem is a little greater than it seems and may require the help of a professional who is both competent and encouraging.

In the meantime, no one is forcing anyone to read jaybie's posts.