[ SECRET POST #2818 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2818 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 03 pages, 063 secrets from Secret Submission Post #403.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

It's probably too late for anyone to see this, but that's okay, I'm mostly just ranting anyway.

I used to be fat, to the point of being fairly uncomfortable with my body (5'8" and nearly 300 pounds), though I never really caught any shit for it from anyone. I also had a pretty good-sized group of friends spanning all the various genders, none of whom I ever had even the slightest romantic inclination towards.

I decided to lose weight for health/body image reasons, and it actually went really well; over the course of a year I lost about 80 pounds, and it fell off me in "aesthetically pleasing" ways (lost a lot in my face, waist, and upper arms, kept my big boobs and hips), which I should have been really thrilled about-- except people started treating me differently. I never really got street-harassed before, now it was happening all the time. My guy friends (and a couple of girls too) suddenly started getting weirdly flirty with me, which I hated. I hated how much attention I was getting. I tried dressing in baggy clothing regardless, but summer only allows for so much, and I was miserable.

I ended up gaining all the weight back, and I'm actually so much happier this way. Things are back to how they were with people, I'm not getting hit on all the time, and even though I'm back to not being very comfortable with my body, I'm about a million times less stressed out.

My mom and I got together for lunch a couple of days ago, and she mentioned that she's been worried about my health since the weight all came back, but I didn't know how to tell her all this. Plus I know I should lose it again for the sake of my health, but I just...really...don't want to go through all that again.

Ugggghhhhh I wish I knew what to do.

[(Anonymous)]

Maybe you should share it with someone? Maybe even your mom? Someone you really trust?

What's most important here is your health. Your mental and emotional well being are also very important, so you've got to figure out what you really want. But I think it's best if you find someone to confide this to--counseling? Therapist? Doctor? Someone far away enough that it doesn't feel messy?

And if you do decide to lose the weight again, don't be afraid to tell your friends you're not comfortable with their behavior. Friends are friends because they help you/give you a space to be yourself, no worries of judgements/etc. So if they're taking that away, let them know.

Whatever you decide to do, I hope you're happy :]

[(Anonymous)]

Oh wow, I didn't expect that anyone would respond. I agree that I should find someone to talk to-- I don't want to dump all that burden on my poor mother, she's got her own troubles, but if I can budget enough out I might look into seeing a therapist, yeah.

As for my friends...I told them then how uncomfortable they were making me, and there were a lot of apologies and promises to change, but it always came back. :/ Even if they were just joking, it made me feel so conspicuous I couldn't stand it.

Thank you. Hopefully figure this stuff out soon.

[(Anonymous)]

Anon, I totally sympathise. Something similar happened to me. I'd definitely try talking to someone you trust about it. If there's noone you feel you could discuss it with then maybe a therapist? Good luck, anon.

[(Anonymous)]

I'm definitely considering it. Thank you for the well-wishes, and I'm sorry to hear that you've experienced similar. It's no fun.

[(Anonymous)]

Oh wow, thank you so much for those links. I didn't realize it was an actual thing. Though I'm definitely not a victim of abuse, it's still a good read for me.

(Haha, I've considered moving! Unfortunately I don't have anywhere near the funds to do so. I'll keep Oregon in mind for the future, though, it does seem nice out there.)

[solticisekf]

but you also gain a power... I love the attitude in Italy or Malta - guys appreciate sexy girls, but don't expect anything in return. You're a godess there (not in 50 Shades sence)). It's even nice. I didn't feel uncomfortable or powerles, or that I had to flirt back.

it's an interesting topic.

weight changes are stressful for the body, btw.

[(Anonymous)]

That actually still sounds terrible to me. I don't want any attention called to my body, "positive" or not. I don't want to be a goddess, I want to be left alone.

Thanks, I'm aware of that.

[solticisekf]

Well, it's just my expierence.

Yeah, sorry, you probably have heard about it before.

[(Anonymous)]

You could lose the weight and then just dress really frumpy and in baggy clothes most of the time?

Or you could lose the weight and respond with mild violence to people who give you a hard time about it? A hard upper arm punch delivered consistently can be a sort of clue stick, I think.