fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #2820 ]

[ SECRET POST #2820 ]

⌈ Secret Post #2820 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

01.

__________________________________________________

02.

__________________________________________________

03.

__________________________________________________

04.

__________________________________________________

05.

__________________________________________________

06.

__________________________________________________

07.

__________________________________________________

08.

__________________________________________________

09.

Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 045 secrets from Secret Submission Post #403.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

I've been on both sides of a version of this situation, and they both suck.

My best guess would be that it's a gut reaction. She found this out and panicked, and hasn't yet had a chance to think about it rationally. Give it a few days and then try talking to her again.

Ask what the deciding factors were, and ask whether she's considered all her options. Lay her options out for her, too. Break it down so she can see how much she'd need to save and how much extra work she'd have to do; if she saves about $25 a week, it would cover the $600 - not including extra help she might get.

Be supportive of whatever she decides to do, and let her know that if she does decide to give it a shot you will support her in handling the extra financial pressure. Hell, offer to help her out by donating a bit on Christmas/her birthday/whatever.

Like I said, I've been in situations like this before, and the scariest thing was feeling that I was doing it by myself. Yeah, it's not really a situation that you can do much more than offer emotional support in, but having someone to root for you does help. I ended up not giving up, and a huge reason for that was because I had people rooting for me and helping me with logistics of what I needed to do, and helping me break down this Big, Impossible Task into a manageable level.

tl;dr - it might very well be a panic response, and talking it over rationally could help her see that it's not an impossibility.

The thing is, she's not $600 in debt, she just had to pay $600 more out of a bank account her parents have set up for her for college. if she was suddenly $600 in debt, I would do anything in my power to help her out, because she's my friend, and that's a shitty situation.

If I were her, I would be feeling some pressure about that even though it wasn't technically my money, because I would be indebted to my parents for it. Regardless of the intentional purpose of the fund - feelings aren't rational. So that might be going on.

feelings aren't rational

Don't I know it.

600 dollars is a lot of money...
I don't think it's the case of her being in debt that she's worried about. There's a lot of better things to spend money on than cosplay when you're in college and if you're 600 dollars short of what you originally had budgeted for yourself...yeah
I've been in a similar situation to your friend and had to cancel a vacation. My friends were really understanding which was really relieving. Don't be so quick to judge your friend.

Pretty much agreeing with this.

Seriously OP, it sucks, and I honestly do feel for you, but it's still money and college funds aren't an endless pit of money; a lot of times, you do need to end up supplementing the money in there with your own money.

Like I said, give it a few days for both of you, and try talking to her about it and figuring out where she's coming from and what she's worried about.

Being in debt is not the only time one should worry about finances. Her worrying now might be what keeps her from being in debt.

Tbh you sound very young and very privileged.

I'm not either of those things. I wish, though. Then I'd have a reason to feel hurt instead of just being pathetic.

It doesn't matter if she isn't 600 bucks in debt now.

She's probably thinking ahead and prioritizing her degree over frivolous expenses. Cosplay kicks ass and all, but it won't help you get a job in the real world.

It could be she can see a bigger expense down the road and going to this con is going to make it a lot worse. You don't know. And it's not your job to manage her finances, or put her in a position where she has to be helped out by you.

I get being annoyed that this time, it just happens to be you who wanted to go with her. But chances are good this isn't personal.

At least she gave you seven months' notice. It would have been super shitty of her to wait until the week of, and then drop this on you. If I were you, I'd take this time to find another person to cosplay with, and have a good time at the con.

I'm not in debt either, but having expenses that are 600 more than expected would throw me off and make me reaaalllly have to review my spending habits. Hell, the fact that I know how to budget is why I'm not in debt despite having limited resources.

She doesn't need to pay out $600 more. She needs to pay out $600 more for one term. Unless this is her very last term, that will be a recurring cost - she will be paying anywhere between $1200 and $4800 more than she was expecting, depending on where she is in her studies, assuming there isn't a tuition hike that widens the gap between her projected costs and her actual costs even further.

She's being responsible. She will continue to accrue costs, because college is expensive, and a lot of those expenses are hidden until you stumble over them.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[ SECRET POST #2820 ]

Re: I just need some perspectives

Re: I just need some perspectives

Re: I just need some perspectives

Re: I just need some perspectives

Re: I just need some perspectives

Re: I just need some perspectives

Re: I just need some perspectives

Re: I just need some perspectives

Re: I just need some perspectives

Re: I just need some perspectives

Re: I just need some perspectives