[ SECRET POST #2820 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2820 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 045 secrets from Secret Submission Post #403.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

Re: I just need some perspectives

[(Anonymous)]

You should be feeling dumb, because you're being a brat. So your friend is going to school and working too, is trying to get her education without taking out loans, and has just discovered that she's going to have an additional $600 worth of expenses this term (and who knows what else in the spring). Giving up on one pricey activity is a sensible course for her to take.

Sure, maybe she could scrape together the extra funds in 7 months, but maybe she's decided that she doesn't need the extra worry on top of her classwork and whatever other activities she's involved in. Maybe she could dip deeper into her savings, but maybe she feels those funds should be reserved for, you know, actual needs, rather than fun stuff. And maybe she also feels that the time and energy you expect her to invest in your cosplay could be better expended on school.

People give up things they've been planning for months: that's just life. I'm sure it's a disappointment, but she gave you seven months' notice, and it's not like you can't do other fandom things together. It's ridiculous to extrapolate from "she gave up too easily on this thing that I thought was important to her" to "I thought I was important to her, but I guess I'm not." Let me guess: you're pouting and being all passive-aggressive! Try to bear the disappointment gracefully, or she actually may dump you.

Re: I just need some perspectives

[(Anonymous)]

I admit I've been pouting, but I told her it was about something else (that had legitimately come up).

I'll keep these things in mind, thank you.

Re: I just need some perspectives

[(Anonymous)]

I'm sure your friend is disappointed too, anon. It sounds as if you feel that she's giving up too soon on your shared project, but from her perspective, she may feel that it's best to give you as much notice as possible. And this doesn't preclude you from enjoying each other's company--unless you let it.

Re: I just need some perspectives

[(Anonymous)]

Listen, you are allowed to feel disappointed and upset. You are allowed to tell your friend why you're pouting. Be honest, just don't be pushy or blame her or try to be all passive aggressive "you're doing this because you hate me" about it. Just be honest about being sad about missing out. And hey, maybe you two can plan something else fun to do together! There are plenty of fun fandomy activities one can do with friends for free.

Re: I just need some perspectives

[(Anonymous)]

I'm really bad about talking about things, but I'll see if I can write her an email or something.

Re: I just need some perspectives

[(Anonymous)]

I am also crap at talking about things, especially emotional things that matter to me. What I've found helps is sitting down and writing out what I want to say. Like a script, or even bullet points, whatever works for you. Just the action of sitting down and thinking it through and putting it down in words really helps. If you need to you could even bring the paper when you talk to your friend, but I've found that doing the 'homework' prepares me for the talk so I'm much calmer and know what I want to say.

Good luck with your friend.