fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #2841 ]

[ SECRET POST #2841 ]

⌈ Secret Post #2841 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 039 secrets from Secret Submission Post #406.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 1 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
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Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

You know what else is quick? Saying "no", saying "go to your room and think about what you did", "no tv for the rest of the day", or any other kind of sentence that punishes a kid but does not hit him or her.

I read it that way, I am sorry that I didn't understand you correctly, but that is what I got from your comment.

Thank you for that, but I am not, my father is healthy, he is completely "normal", but he was cold, and never ever told me he loved me or anything like that, mostly he punished me when he got home from work and then a day later he would be gone for 3 more weeks, but neither of my parents were bad parents, flawed yes. And I am sure your mother wasn't a bad parent, either.

Then again in my country spanking is abuse, in my society your mother would not have been allowed to raise you, but neither would your father have, both your parents did something that in my country would be classified as abuse. And if they didn't change their ways under the guidance of the CPS they would have taken their children away, because both things are abusive and damaging to a child.

I understand that you don't look at it that way, I will not tell you that your mother ever abused you, or that your childhood was bad, because of it, I don't know you, nor do I know your childhood. And I am sorry about what your dad did to you, it is not something any child should go through, but that does not make spanking a good thing. Two wrongs does not make one right.

But I believe and will always believe that spanking is abuse, and there is no "what ifs" that makes it right, but and this is a pretty big but: I don't believe that children who were spanked growing up where necessarily abused, it is up to the individual to decide if they were abused or not.

Then again: in this day and age making the choice to use violence against a child is freaking barbaric and I will not be okay with it.

In short: Anyone being spanked growing up was not necessarily abused, anyone spanking their children would now would.

Edited 2014-10-14 02:12 (UTC)

Thing is, for me? That never worked. My brother? Take away his shit? It worked. Spanking didn't work for him, but for me it did.

Eff off.

And as we all know one example is proof, screw science, we can just go on random peoples personal experience.

I like how you started with an actual rebuttal and then ended your comment with outright hostility. ~~complete with pseudo-swearing too~~

So, why did you take that comment as a personal attack?

Don't mind them, everything anyone says to otakugirl is a personal attack.

Said to her? It's enough for her to see it to take it personally!

Depends.

Yes. As we can all see from your propensity to be kind and level-headed, and your ability to not take things personally, you turned out just fine. Clearly, you should be upheld as a shining example of how spanking works.

*yawn*

to be honest, I am so so thankful my parents never subscribed to the "time out" thing because it would have fucked me up so hard. Being 'sent away' to be all alone? I would have felt like I was banished from society. It was done to me once in kindergarten and I was a wreck after it.

Stop pretending that time-outs are the perfect solution that never affect anyone badly.

This. Until we become pod-people and all our brains are carefully structured to work the exact same there will never be any perfect, one-size-fits-all solutions to dealing with *any* situation involving people, let alone child rearing.

So... you'd rather they hit you?

Time-outs aren't supposed to be fun. And there aren't actually any studies that are critical of them - of course within reason. Five minutes time out, not five hours.

...so you're trying to say that the fact that I took it really hard didn't actually happen, because no studies say so? My goodness, I'll just edit my emotions, shall I?

There's a huge difference between 'not fun' and my experience. Yes I would much rather be hit. Hitting ends quickly and wouldn't make me feel like I was too worthless to spend another moment in civilized company.

Hitting ends quickly - that's probably one of the biggest reason why it doesn't work as a deterrent. There's no learning, no amends, just a spurt of violence and then it's finished.

Whether or not kids like it, however, it is appropriate to put them in time out if they are not in control of themselves (hitting others, tantruming, etc).

Yeah, wow. What can I say, I'm glad you're so sensitive to an individual's needs.
As it happens, my parents hit me like... once in my life, to shock me out of doing something dangerous, and managed to educate me just fine without putting me in time-out. Because my parents recognized my needs as an individual and didn't subscribe to cookie-cutter parenting, as you seem to.

And again, you are 100% ignoring the fact that some kids could be emotionally hurt by being put in time out, beyond "not liking it". I mean obviously if it never happened to you it doesn't exit, amirite????

Also, for the record, neither I nor any of my siblings ever indulged in tantrums.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[ SECRET POST #2841 ]

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