[ SECRET POST #2860 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2860 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 03 pages, 062 secrets from Secret Submission Post #409.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

Re: does "just ignore it" work for most people?

[(Anonymous)]

IME it didn't work for bullies at all, but on the other hand it's odd that so many people are going right to "it doesn't stop bullies" because it seemed to me that bullying is not at all what the OP is talking about. I got the impression it was a (possibly) younger sibling being disrespectful and bratty toward her--getting in a snotty little parting shot after they had had an argument.

Re: does "just ignore it" work for most people?

[a_potato]

I think the reason a lot of people are going straight to bullying is because the "just ignore it" and "he/she/they are just trying to get a rise out of you" lines are so often used in regards to bullying (and trolling, for that matter). So, that's the from of reference that a lot of us are automatically pulling from.

I do think you're right, though, and I think the second part of my post does apply to that. Let the person calm down; come back and talk about it later. It can be really hard for either party to listen when one or the other is fired up.

Re: does "just ignore it" work for most people?

[(Anonymous)]

ayrt

True--that, and "he's doing it because he likes you"...

Re: does "just ignore it" work for most people?

[a_potato]

Oh man, I hate that one. Like, first, no, he's not necessarily doing it because he likes you. And second, even if he is, it's still dickish.

Re: does "just ignore it" work for most people?

[diet_poison]

I think trolling is the one situation where it's usually good advice, though not when it becomes really targeted and extreme (such as a few haters we've had lately) - at that point it needs to be addressed.

Re: does "just ignore it" work for most people?

[a_potato]

I think you're right. In most instances of trolling, turning away really does help. But I also think that some people have taken that too far, to where they have trouble recognizing when turning away doesn't and isn't helping.

Then again, that could be said of a lot of things.

Re: does "just ignore it" work for most people?

[diet_poison]

oh, you're right about the situation. it was my younger sister who said something snotty some 10-15 minutes after an argument had ended. but I was curious to peoples' experiences in any similar situation, and even though bullying isn't what I'm dealing with, I'm curious about any situation where the Powers That Be say "just ignore it!" and wondering how it worked out.

now that I think about it...I mean I wasn't actually bullied that much, I was picked on/teased a little bit (mostly in 5th and 6th grade) but it was minimal and really not life-impacting. But I've always been kinda like this, very assertive and a bit touchy, not lacking in confidence and not afraid to be blunt. I wonder if there's a big connection there - I wasn't as vulnerable as some of my peers probably were (not trying to brag here, and I have my faults - anger management has been a big one - but this I guess has been a very helpful trait too) so maybe I wasn't seen as easy meat, and people didn't think it was worth it. It kinda turns the whole "just ignore them" thing on its head, because I NEVER just "ignored" them. I always said something. And most of the time people left me alone. (Maybe it was because they thought I was ~weird~, but that suited me just fine.)