[ SECRET POST #2860 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2860 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

01.


__________________________________________________



02.


__________________________________________________



03.


__________________________________________________



04.


__________________________________________________



05.


__________________________________________________



06.


__________________________________________________



07.


__________________________________________________



08.


__________________________________________________



09.
















Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 03 pages, 062 secrets from Secret Submission Post #409.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

Re: does "just ignore it" work for most people?

[(Anonymous)]

I think it depends. In cases where the person in question is behaving that way to seek attention or validation, or even a sense of control over you (e.g. "I can get this person to react just by saying X!") then ignoring it is a very good tactic because a) you're not engaging yourself in their conflict and b) they're actually not getting what they want, which is a win for you. You're denying them the fuel that keeps the conflict burning, and they can't carry that on by themselves. At least not in any way that gives them the satisfaction they crave.

(Obviously, harm that causes a direct impact on your personal well-being in any shape or form might need more serious intervention, but in a lot of more 'nuisance' cases, it works remarkably well).

I think it ties into when you said:

"They always say "they're just trying to get a rise out of you" and I have a hard time believing that people make other people upset just for fun, with no other goal in mind. It doesn't strike me as being very entertaining. I always assumed there was another motive."

Yes, they are trying to get a rise out of you (see above re: controlling your behavior), but I think you might be seeing the goal in the sense of it being something that's about you when every single instance of someone behaving like this is actually a reflection of them. Their problems, their anger, their inablity to express their emotions healthily, any number of things. So yes there is most definitely a motive, but it might not be the one you think.

Re: does "just ignore it" work for most people?

[diet_poison]

Yeah, basically, like I said, I figured I was projecting my own motives onto others. eh.

Re: does "just ignore it" work for most people?

[(Anonymous)]

No no, I didn't mean you! I meant that a person who behaves this way is doing it for a 'reason' (or with a motive, as you suggested) but it's not necessarily the 'gleaning entertainment from upsetting people' thing. i.e. it's not anything you've specifically done, even though it feels mighty personal. It's always the manifestation of some issue with them, not that they directly have an issue with you.

I'm not sure whether I made my point more articulately this time. >.

Re: does "just ignore it" work for most people?

[diet_poison]

oh yeah that makes more sense! And it's true. We all sometimes lash out at other people over things that have nothing to do with them. :(