[ SECRET POST #2860 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2860 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 03 pages, 062 secrets from Secret Submission Post #409.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

Re: does "just ignore it" work for most people?

[(Anonymous)]

Depends. If the other person is just trying to get a reaction and you don't give it to them, eventually they may move on to another target, if another target is available.

I think the point, though, isn't necessarily to make them stop; it's to stop yourself from dwelling on it, wasting your time and energy on it, and letting it get to you. Ultimately our ability to control the behavior of others is sharply limited compared to our ability to control our own.

Our emotions are not automatic responses over which we have zero influence. You might not be able to avoid an initial spark of irritation when your sister says something bratty. But you can choose whether to rise to the bait, and whether to continue fuming about it; or to instead acknowledge to yourself that yes, she's being a pain, but it's a very minor thing in the grand scheme and not worth expending a lot of rage, resentment and frustration on, and then turn your attention to more important (and pleasant) things.

Re: does "just ignore it" work for most people?

[diet_poison]

I think the point, though, isn't necessarily to make them stop; it's to stop yourself from dwelling on it, wasting your time and energy on it, and letting it get to you.

This is absolutely true, and it's where I have the most trouble...

I know I can control my response and I'm not saying I can't - I just really need to work on that snap decision. Not feeling shitty about it after will be a lot harder, but ultimately I usually just spend half an hour doing something relaxing and distracting, which sucks if I'm trying to get into Be Productive Mode like I was today.