[ SECRET POST #2862 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2862 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 042 secrets from Secret Submission Post #409.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ], [ 1 - random textless image ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

ayrt

Yeah. Having sex with someone when you don't want to just to make THEM happy seems really unhealthy to me and I'd think eventually it would lead to resentment. I guess some other people disagree, given the other replies in this thread, but it doesn't make sense to me personally.

[tabaqui]

Exactly. To each their own, but i can't see it ever leading to anything good.

[(Anonymous)]

I think the issue is that you're putting a lot of value in sex, and assuming that everyone thinks the same way you do. You're also assuming that ace=unable to enjoy sex, which isn't true. You're doing something to make your partner happy, but you're not sacrificing anything. It's consensual and satisfying for everyone.

[(Anonymous)]

assuming that everyone thinks the same way you do

I did think that the way I think was probably the most common, but as I'm seeing from this thread, there are plenty of people that see it different.

You're also assuming that ace=unable to enjoy sex, which isn't true.

For me, I'm not able to enjoy sex if I'm not sexually attracted to the person, and I figured that would be especially true for an asexual person who wasn't attracted to anyone but apparently that's not always the case. I imagine if I were in that situation I wouldn't be able to do it, but if it works for them, that's great.

[(Anonymous)]

Some people are wired to find intense pleasure from pleasing the object of their desire/affection/whatever. And I'm not just talking sexual. There are people who prefer to serve others, rather than be served. I will state full-out that I am as far from asexual as you can get, but when I'm not in the mood, the thought of how happy having sex will make my partner, that makes me happy, too.

I am not a doormat. I am not spineless. I have my own thoughts, opinions, and emotions. There is a difference between codependency, and having similar (or complimentary) needs and wants to your partner. I love to please people. That's just the way I'm wired.