Case (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
case) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
fandomsecrets2014-11-07 06:52 pm
case) wrote in fandomsecrets2014-11-07 06:52 pm
[ SECRET POST #2866 ]
⌈ Secret Post #2866 ⌋
Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.
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[Person of Interest]
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07. http://i.imgur.com/fq1S7if.png
[Strictly Come Dancing, linked for nudity]
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08. [ SPOILERS for Bleak Expectations]
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09. [ SPOILERS for Watchmen ]
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10. [ SPOILERS for Transformers: More than Meets the Eye ]
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11. [ WARNING for child sexual abuse ]
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12. [ WARNING for rape, gore, etc]
[American Horror Story: Freakshow]
Notes:
Secrets Left to Post: 00 pages, 000 secrets from Secret Submission Post #409.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ], [ 1 - ships it ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.
Re: How to deal with the death of a parent TW: death
Don't be afraid of her illness. Don't hide from it, refuse to talk about it, stuff like that. When my dad was sick, we made jokes about would he want a Viking funeral or should we make his ashes into diamonds and who was going to get what pair of socks. We *talked* about it, and it was morbid, maybe, but it also took the sting out of it.
And don't treat her like glass. I mean, yes, she's ill and she will have days when she wants to do nothing but lie on the couch, but don't *coddle* her when she wants to get up and cook, or do her own laundry, or go shopping. Let her be *herself* for as long as she wants, and as long as she's able.
Get things in order. Again, it seems morbid, but it's actually practical. Ask the questions you don't want to or feel you 'shouldn't' ask - how many credit cards does she have? Does she owe a mortgage payment? Does she want her sister/cousin/niece to get the 'good' china or does she not care? What does she want, re: funeral, burial, etc., and how is it going to be paid for? A lot of people act like talking about these things are taboo and horrifying, but it's better to have this stuff sorted with her input, so you know it's all to her liking.
My parents told us to write 'will lists', and ended up giving us most of the stuff (the camel stools, the horned bull-head key ring holder, the church key) long before my dad died. They didn't care about most of the stuff, and were happy to give it to us when it meant so much.
I guess - try not to wallow in the inevitability of a life ending, and instead revel in the life as it is right now. Enjoy it, help her to enjoy it, make a ton of memories, ask her questions about her childhood, her Aunt you've never met, where her family came from. Take pictures every day, buy her silly cards or a frivolous scarf, just *enjoy* her, and let her enjoy her family/you. That's all you can do.
Hope this was even remotely helpful.
*hugs if you want 'em*
Re: How to deal with the death of a parent TW: death
(Anonymous) 2014-11-08 02:34 am (UTC)(link)Re: How to deal with the death of a parent TW: death
(Anonymous) 2014-11-08 02:54 am (UTC)(link)Re: How to deal with the death of a parent TW: death
Re: How to deal with the death of a parent TW: death
Re: How to deal with the death of a parent TW: death
*hugs back*