fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #2873 ]

⌈ Secret Post #2873 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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[Naruto]

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05. [ SPOILERS for Doctor Who ]

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06. [ SPOILERS for Doctor Who ]

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07. [ SPOILERS for Doctor Who ]

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08. [ SPOILERS for Spartacus ]

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09. [ WARNING for suicide ]

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10. [ WARNING for child abuse ]

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11. [ WARNING for child porn ]

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12. [ WARNING for sexual assault ]

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13. [ WARNING for rape ]

[Doctor Who]

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14. [ WARNING for rape ]

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15. [ WARNING for rape ]

[Days of Our Lives]

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16. [ WARNING for rape ]

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17. [ WARNING for rape ]

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18. [ WARNING for incest ]

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19. [ WARNING for suicide ]

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 00 pages, 000 secrets from Secret Submission Post #410.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

I'm sick of putting up with my dad's verbal abuse. Unrelated to that, I asked for a raise two weeks ago, when the boss was spouting BS about how "valuable" my position is. More valuable than minimum wage?

If I get it, I'll look for an apartment. I'll probably get attacked for being a single woman, but at least not by a relative!!!

If I don't, I'll quit and move to the other side of the state and hole up with my boyfriend and his dudebro roommate. His parents don't want us living together so I sure hope they don't find out!!!!

I'm not sure why you would get attacked for being a single woman if you sign a lease?

Hope your dad quits being a prick, or that you at least find a more favorable living space, and a job that pays the bills and allows you some fun time.

SA
Because of all the horror stories I hear about women who live alone being attacked by neighbors, not by landlords. Though I suppose shady landlords could abuse their position and do it too. They have keys, even.

I don't have any friends to stay with, and I can't room with a perfect stranger. I guess I'm just too fucking paranoid, only now I'm in panic mode about my situation.

He won't, but thanks. Frankly I'm looking forward to quitting the hellhole I work in and staying with my bf for awhile.

I think there's at least some chance that people around you (maybe your father?) keep harping to you on the dangers of living alone (or going places alone) because they want to keep you on a short leash, afraid of leaving the family home. Yes, it happens that women who live alone are attacked, but so are women who live at home, women who live with roommates, and women who live with a SO. It probably helps to choose a place where common areas are well-lit and maintained, to put just your last name and first initial on your mailbox, to have friends you can check in with regularly, and to be very careful about who knows where you live and whom you let in (even repair people).

In the end, I thought the murder story was irrelevant. But I don't know how many times I heard, whenever the news reported about a woman being killed or raped, "That's why you should never go places alone or after dark."

Whoever you heard it from was either making a knee-jerk, lazy, victim blaming statement, or if you are OP and it was your dad, trying to control you. I have many, many female friends who live alone and have done for years and have NEVER been attacked.

ayrt

sorry, I'm the anon who made the post with the tw for murder, then deleted the paragraph about the murder but forgot to delete the tw. I wasn't the brightest crayon in the box last night--should've at least posted "sa" to eliminate the confusion.

And yes, it was knee-jerk victim-blaming, but that's how people of a certain age thought about it, if nobody bothered to challenge them. My mom is better about it now, but growing up, I heard a lot of disempowering, victim-blaming statements from female relatives of that generation. Don't go out after dark, don't go for walks alone, if you let a guy into your apartment you've lost the right to say no; if someone wants to rape you there's nothing you can do to stop him, so you need to be "sensible" (i.e., live a pretty circumscribed life). There was also the idea that if you moved out of your parents' house into your own place, in your own home town, the only possible reason was that you were going to pick up men and bring them home to fuck.

And this, from women who encouraged me to study anything and pursue any career I wanted, and made sure I knew I didn't have to put up with abusive shit in a relationship.

This.

Choose your apartment well, look up ratings/reviews and talk to people. Research, research, research. Visit complexes, and if anything gives you the willies during the day, don't go with it. For complexes that are more favorable, be sure to drive by a couple of nights during the week (at least once during the weekend) and make sure that not only is it tolerable in terms of noise, but well-lit and relatively safe.

Or, if you're going with a house, some of this could also apply. Research the neighborhood and check out the sex offender registry for any big time offenders in the vicinity (not Mr. "took indecent liberties one time with a 15-year-old when he was 17 and is still on the registry at 30" but the person who has really hurt someone else, or the multiple-offense rapist/child molester).

You might consider getting a dog or two as well. Make sure you're compatible with it, goes well with your lifestyle and that you have the time to train/love/brush/feed/pet/socialize/walk it.

[ SECRET POST #2873 ]

Re: The F!S Circle of Hope

Re: The F!S Circle of Hope

Re: The F!S Circle of Hope

tw: murder

Re: tw: murder

Re: tw: murder

Re: tw: murder

nayrt