Case (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
case) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
fandomsecrets2014-11-14 06:56 pm
case) wrote in fandomsecrets2014-11-14 06:56 pm
[ SECRET POST #2873 ]
⌈ Secret Post #2873 ⌋
Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.
01.
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02.
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03.
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04.
[Naruto]
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05. [ SPOILERS for Doctor Who ]
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06. [ SPOILERS for Doctor Who ]
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07. [ SPOILERS for Doctor Who ]
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08. [ SPOILERS for Spartacus ]
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09. [ WARNING for suicide ]
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10. [ WARNING for child abuse ]
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11. [ WARNING for child porn ]
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12. [ WARNING for sexual assault ]
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13. [ WARNING for rape ]
[Doctor Who]
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14. [ WARNING for rape ]
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15. [ WARNING for rape ]
[Days of Our Lives]
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16. [ WARNING for rape ]
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17. [ WARNING for rape ]
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18. [ WARNING for incest ]
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19. [ WARNING for suicide ]
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Notes:
Secrets Left to Post: 00 pages, 000 secrets from Secret Submission Post #410.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.
no subject
(Anonymous) 2014-11-15 07:07 am (UTC)(link)It took me meeting people away from where I grew up, to tell them my stories, and have them look at me for the first time like 'Hey, that's really fucked up, why would someone do that.' I always figured that if I could just do what my dad wanted (mainly, lose weight)he wouldn't say the things he did, or treat me the way he did. My dad is actually really pleasant around other people, and he only gets really vicious around his own children--my mom told me later, when I was older, that she had been fooled by him as well before they were married. She saw how he treated other people, and other people's children, and thought he would be the same way with us.
I still have a lot of trouble with certain things--I have trouble eating in front of people I don't know extremely well, but especially things that are difficult to eat or inherently messy. I never really knew why, until I remembered that every time my father saw me snack outside of mealtimes, he would ask me if I was grazing, or ask me if I had checked how many calories were in something while I was eating it (or pick up the package and read them to me). I never realized how ingrained he had made the idea of just my needing to eat being the most disgusting thing I could possibly do.
I don't really trust anyone who basically makes their living on people being damaged to actually be able to help anyone, but I hope that even if you don't find one of the rare counselors who actually got into the profession for the right reasons that this is the start of your journey to at least start to put everything he's ever said to you into a place that comes from him, and not because you caused it or because it was your fault for not being able to be something that you could never be.
It's strange, but I actually remember something Gordon Ramsay said about his own abusive father, and that is that you shouldn't forget what he's done, but you have to at least try to forgive him.
I'm still trying, and may never get there, but getting away, not having to deal with that every single day, will do wonders for you. And, once you do that, you will probably be better able to help your sister, should she need it, because you'll be able to see things from a different place.
Best of luck to you and those you love who are affected by what he's done, and those who will love you someday who inevitably will be. (But it's not your fault.)