[ SECRET POST #2874 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2874 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 03 pages, 074 secrets from Secret Submission Post #411.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ], [ 4 - random images ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[siofrabunnies]

Well, sexuality is a kind of power. And, historically, it was pretty much the only one most women had a shot at wielding. If your only choice is "I'm so awesome that/because everyone wants to fuck me", it's still better than not having any power. True, there have always been female soldiers, intellectuals, rulers, landowners, etc, but they were very much the exception.

I'm glad that it's changing. Slowly, but it's improving. Women are now holding real positions in government, business, science. We're not allowed to only be nurses, teachers, or housewives, and nothing else. But, just because we've accessed new kinds of power, doesn't mean we have to give up sexuality. Sex as empowerment shouldn't be a bad thing; it just shouldn't be a woman's only option.

And, well, I personally wouldn't mind that poem from a male perspective. What I want is for women to be put up to mens' level, not man to be dragged down to where women have been. I want men and women who wield sexuality, swords, political power, money, swagger, charm, torches, whatever.

[(Anonymous)]

This! Although I more want to see poems about a man's sexuality from a female POV, than poems about a man's sexuality from that same man's POV. Masculine sexuality is mentioned way too little when it comes to explicit appreciation of it by a third party, I guess precisely because people *do* think sexuality is a inferior type of power due to being associated with women and that explicitly talking about a man's sex appeal.

Of course, appreciation of men's sex appeal that's just kind of there but not talked about is all over the place with male heroes like James Bond and all the current superheroes and stuff who can get any woman to sleep with them, who have awesome bulging muscles, blah blah blah. But whenever someone actually starts talking about exactly what about the man's body or the way they move or the clothes they wear makes them so sexy, everyone gets all embarrassed and awkward and self-conscious and act like it's hilarious, as if the men are being treated like women or something. It's all so dumb.

[(Anonymous)]

"Connoisseuse of Slugs" by Sharon Olds, for a start.

When I was a connoisseuse of slugs
I would part the ivy leaves, and look for the
naked jelly of those gold bodies,
translucent strangers glistening along the
stones, slowly, their gelatinous bodies
at my mercy. Made mostly of water, they would shrivel
to nothing if they were sprinkled with salt,
but I was not interested in that. What I liked
was to draw aside the ivy, breathe the
odor of the wall, and stand there in silence
until the slug forgot I was there
and sent it antennae up out of its
head, the glimmering umber horns
rising like telesopes, until finally the
sensitive knobs would pop out the ends,
delicate and intimate. Years later,
when I first saw a naked man,
I gasped with pleasure to see that quiet
mystery reenacted, the slow
elegant being coming out of hiding and
gleaming in the dark air, eager and so
trusting you could weep.

[(Anonymous)]

nayrt

That is absolutely lovely.

[(Anonymous)]

always loved that poem

stupid sexy slugs!

[intrigueing]

*loves* omg I love it. So perfect.

[(Anonymous)]

God, that is gross.

Dicks aren't attractive to look at to begin with; comparing them to slugs really doesn't help.

[(Anonymous)]

You're an idiot. Went right over your head, didn't it?

Also, dicks are the coolest thing.

[hallokatzchen]

"Sex as empowerment shouldn't be a bad thing; it just shouldn't be a woman's only option."

Thank you! Thank you so much for saying this! ♥

OP

[(Anonymous)]

But conforming to the kind of sexual presentation required to gain the weak, temporary power it gives automatically makes women less powerful in every other area.

Use your sexuality for your lovers, not to gain power in the outside world.

Re: OP

[(Anonymous)]

No.

Re: OP

[(Anonymous)]

+1

OP

[(Anonymous)]

I disagree. I believe that using sexuality as "power" actually keeps women in a subservient, pleasing, lesser position to men in that a) not all women have access to it. Very young girls don't, although sometimes they try to use sex as power because they're taught that female power must be sexual from a young age, and that backfires on them. Older women who no longer embody commercial/conventional ideals of what is sexually desirable by men don't have that kind of power either. It's a kind of power that only exist with a narrow framework. b) It's a power that exists because women who use it mould their sexuality into something pleasing for men. It's forces women to subvert their true sexual selves into something artificial, commercial, etc.

Why do you think so many women are starving themselves and getting plastic surgery? Because they think it's the only route to power.

Sexuality is personal. It should be celebrated on a personal level, not used for power, not USED for anything other than pleasure.

Re: OP

[(Anonymous)]

Hmmm. This is very second wave feminism, OP. It's as if you're saying acknowledging your sexuality somehow makes you into some sort of subservient doormat. How enlightened and empowering is it to deny an entire aspect of yourself just in case men get the wrong idea? And how empowering is it for any woman to agree to only use her sexuality as you see fit rather than how she sees fit to use it?

Re: OP

[(Anonymous)]

LOL. Get out of the '70s, OP. Sexuality is not that static. It changes over time.

Re: OP

[siofrabunnies]

1. My 65-year-old neighbor goes tongue-tied when his 63-year-old wife bends over in front of him. Also, look into std rates in nursing homes. Old people bone... a lot.

1.a. You don't have to change yourself to be sexually appealing. Just because you're not ScarJo doesn't mean someone won't fall head over heels for you. There is someone out there who would cross heaven and hell to fuck your brains out. There's a reason for Rule 34. There are people out there who sincerely, non-fetishizingly prefer women who are, well, very fat. There are people who prefer flat-chestedness, androgyny, major body modification. This woman, born with no lower half (and neither is she typically beautiful in the face) has a "normal sex life" with her husband, and they've had at least two kids.

1.b. Just because a woman follows conventional standards doesn't mean she's giving in or being subservient. A woman can actually just enjoy looking hot for herself and not give a damn about what men think. Look at something like r/makeupaddiction. Those are women who, if you ask most of them, don't care what their male people think about it, because they just like playing with color or feeling dolled up. For them, it's just a hobby.

1.c. Just because some women fall into the trap of "beauty/sex is the only route to power" doesn't mean that they're correct. Some women (and men, of course) abuse their physical strength, via bar fights or something. That doesn't mean that they shouldn't be allowed to have strength, or that strength itself is the problem. It just means those people are incorrect. Just because some asshole at the bar doesn't understand that you don't break chairs over people's heads shouldn't restrict me from joining bodybuilding competitions. If a woman wants to get a breast augmentation, that's her choice. If she feels happier afterwards, it's not my place to feel sorry for her. Go her! She did something that made herself happy!

1.d Many women who feel empowered by sexuality feel so because they're using a man's own hormones/impulses against him. If you feel empowered by wearing heels, and it makes a guy walk into a telephone pole, it's a heady feeling. It's being able to say, "You can't even look at me without reverting to instinct. I don't even have to do anything, and this happens. Can you imagine what would happen if I did?" I can look at my husband in that certain way, and it derails any plans he had for the next hour or two, and I'm no model.

2. Just because some people can't access a source of power doesn't mean that those who can access it shouldn't. That's like saying someone who is physically strong can't lift heavy things because weaker people exist. Or that rich people shouldn't spend money, because not everyone has money to spend.

The route to equality doesn't lie in taking away women's options, but in increasing the options they have. (Also in increasing men's options, because they have different ones, but that's not the point right now.)

Also, I'm sorry if this sounds overly defensive. It's a subject I'm pretty passionate about, but I don't want to sound like I'm yelling at you just because you disagree with me.