Case (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
case) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
fandomsecrets2014-11-16 03:50 pm
case) wrote in fandomsecrets2014-11-16 03:50 pm
[ SECRET POST #2875 ]
⌈ Secret Post #2875 ⌋
Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.
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Notes:
Secrets Left to Post: 03 pages, 063 secrets from Secret Submission Post #411.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.
Re: OP: OP Again: OCD 101
(Anonymous) 2014-11-17 07:24 am (UTC)(link)OCD is an anxiety disorder. In my case, my anxiety is over not being a good person. Or, more specifically, possibly hurting someone from not being a good person. That translates to an obsession with being a good person. From there, any opinions in my head that might hurt people (might be bad) are a problem.
That's where it gets... well, crazy. I identify with Elsa. Okay, dandy. I don't identify as much with Anna. Okay, also dandy. Except real, live human beings are getting annoyed (hurt--shh, it's a broad definition) because people sympathize more with Elsa. I am one of the people in that category. I'm hurting people by being in that category. I need to sympathize more with Anna.
Only it doesn't work that way, right? Because my sympathies are just my opinion. It's that simple, and I can't force that to change.
And that just makes me a worse person, because I'm not letting go of an opinion that hurts (irritates) people. Which is insane, but that's sort of the point.
So that's the obsession part.
My compulsions are mental. Cleaning a counter of germs you're afraid of happens with scrubbing. Cleaning your soul doesn't necessarily involve such a physical expression.
Instead, I go over the situation again and again. Instead of having an opinion, it turns into finding reasons why my opinion is right--or wrong. It turns into hours upon hours of going over what each character experienced and figuring out which one deserves more sympathy, because even if my ending conclusion hurts people, if it's the right one, it will simply be correct, and if it's correct, I won't have the opinion because I'm a bad person, it will just be a solid fact for me to cling to.
Me considering myself a monster is the anxiety talking. The compulsions keep the anxiety alive. The disorder is that my brain's reaction to seeing how off-the-rails nuts this response is isn't to let it die in a ditch.
Unfortunately, my brain doesn't care that the trigger is fictional. There's still me having a possibly unjust opinion, and that sends me into the deep end.
I think that covers how I've come to consider the stupidity and melodrama of the original secret a byproduct of my mental illness instead of a byproduct of me being stupid and melodramatic. Or I hope it does.
This probably just looks more melodramatic, come to think of it. Oh well. Sorry to talk your ear off, I just see so many comments on what OCD doesn't do that I wanted to take advantage of an opportunity to talk about what it does do.
Again, thank you for your time.
Re: OP: OP Again: OCD 101
(Anonymous) 2014-11-17 09:56 am (UTC)(link)