[ SECRET POST #2884 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2884 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 034 secrets from Secret Submission Post #412.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

Re: In honor of the virginity thread...

[(Anonymous)]

Vaginal/anal penetration when done by another person. Oral sex is obvs sexual, but on its own doesn't count as "having sex".

Re: In honor of the virginity thread...

[(Anonymous)]

And yet it's called oral SEX. Are you not "having oral sex"?

I don't think using a mouth makes it NOT sex.

Re: In honor of the virginity thread...

[(Anonymous)]

ayrt

I think of it as like something leading up to sex, because the way I see it sex is linked to actual penetration. Hence it's still a sexual act, but not "going all the way," as lame as that sounds. Someone could be experienced in that area but still a technical virgin.

Also I think of it as "performing/giving oral sex," not "having," so the language used probably affects how I view it too?

Defining virginity is kind of impossible to begin with really. I'm not at all attempting to establish a definition or saying everyone else should feel the way I do, but that it's just how I view it for whatever reason.

Re: In honor of the virginity thread...

[(Anonymous)]

Your argument still makes no sense. A penis penetrates mouths. Tongues penetrate vaginas. Not to mention it's extremely heteronormative thinking. Not every gay guy wants anal and not every lesbian is comfortable having a dildo go up her vagina.

Re: In honor of the virginity thread...

[(Anonymous)]

I was using "penetrate" in the sense of an act that actually requires some degree of force for the entrance to happen to begin with, which is why I specified "vaginal/anal" in my first post. So I actually would consider "tongue in vagina" as sex, but not "penis in mouth."

At the same time, my views aren't really an all-or-nothing thing either. I think number of times/variety of acts plays a role too. Like, if someone's entire sexual experience over a lifetime didn't involve penetration, I wouldn't think of them as a virgin. If it was a teenager who gave oral sex once, I probably would.

Also I was never trying to "argue" with you so much as clarify my views. I know you don't agree, and that's fine; I'm really not trying to convince you of anything. This is just the way I-- most of the time subconsciously-- view what is really a vague and invented concept to begin with.

Re: In honor of the virginity thread...

[(Anonymous)]

Does that mean lesbians can't have sex?

I see where you're coming from, I mean, honestly, for heterosexual couples I do imagine "sex" being the full penis to vagina act. but I'm a lesbian and I'm pretty sure I have lots of sex with other women, no penis required.

Re: In honor of the virginity thread...

[(Anonymous)]

No, I mentioned in another comment that if someone had been engaged in sexual activity for a while that hadn't actually involved penetration, then I wouldn't think of them as a "virgin." My comment about oral sex not counting was meant more along the lines of someone who had done that, like, once and nothing else, for experimenting or something rather than because of sexual preferences, if that makes any sense.

I guess the best way I can explain it is that if that's the only kind someone's interested in and therefore all they do with a partner= not a virgin; someone who's actually seeking penetrative sex but has only done oral for experimentation/whatever= virgin.

It's probably not really clear to anyone other than me, but that's how I think about it (without really actively thinking about it until now, really).