[ SECRET POST #2896 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2896 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 03 pages, 052 secrets from Secret Submission Post #414.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 1 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

Re: Should you ignore the bad parts of people/things?

[(Anonymous)]

Should you? Yes, to an extent. People who can't deal with the negative parts of others' personalities at all tend to be pretty bitter and miserable and friendless, ime.

You're never going to have a meaningful relationship with someone that isn't bigoted or impatient or kind of rude or whatever their particular problem is. That's why the jokes about holiday dinners are always about how Uncle Curtis is being racist again or whatever. And yet, most people will still go visit their families over the holidays and have a good time, because mature people can handle a little bad with the good with some amount of tact and without cutting people out of their lives completely.

That doesn't mean you should be a doormat, or that you should stay in toxic relationships just for funsies. I'm estranged from some of my relatives because they treat me like shit, and I've dropped a lot of friends and grown apart from lots more over the years because at some point I realized there wasn't enough good there to put up with them anymore.

For your specific situation with Jack, from what you've said he sounds like a jerk. Not because he says sexist/homophobic shit, because lots of people grow out of that at some point, but because he does it just to piss people off. As for the website, if you enjoy posting there, keep posting. When topics like that come up, either avoid the thread or just do your best to keep a level head.

Re: Should you ignore the bad parts of people/things?

[(Anonymous)]

"You're never going to have a meaningful relationship with someone that isn't bigoted or impatient or kind of rude or whatever their particular problem is. That's why the jokes about holiday dinners are always about how Uncle Curtis is being racist again or whatever. And yet, most people will still go visit their families over the holidays and have a good time, because mature people can handle a little bad with the good with some amount of tact and without cutting people out of their lives completely."

True. There's a big difference between putting up with racist Uncle Curtis for a few hours and being friends with him and seeing him on a regular basis, though.

Re: Should you ignore the bad parts of people/things?

[(Anonymous)]

DA - I also think family is different from friendship in that regard. Uncle Curtis might be your favorite uncle; he took care of you the summer your parents divorced, came to several of your school plays, etc. So you know he has views you disagree with, but you love him, and you know how hurt he'd be if you stopped talking to him. You might have the same history with a friend and the corresponding attachment, which makes it trickier, but if it's someone you've only known a year or two it's (relatively) easier to cut ties.