case: (Default)
Case ([personal profile] case) wrote in [community profile] fandomsecrets2014-12-26 06:42 pm

[ SECRET POST #2915 ]


⌈ Secret Post #2915 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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11. [ SPOILERS for Korra ]



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12. [ SPOILERS for Korra ]



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13. [ SPOILERS for Ascension ]



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14. [ SPOILERS for OtGW ]



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15. [ WARNING for rape ]



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16. [ WARNING for rape ]















Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 00 pages, 000 secrets from Secret Submission Post #416.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Question about friending memes

(Anonymous) 2014-12-26 11:59 pm (UTC)(link)
I'm not even sure how to word it here. Bear with me.

The last several times I've added people on friending memes, including fandom ones, I've added people because we share common interests (if not fandoms), but they end up only talking about real life things that are just not very interesting, to be blunt. Like what they ate for lunch, or all the random chores they did on Saturday afternoon. I don't mind real life posts alone, my LJ's largely real life anymore, but sorry, I don't know you well enough to care about mundane day-to-day details. Or about people I've never met, even, like their boyfriends or kids. If they told me things about those people it would help, but they don't.

I don't even know how to explain it better, at least without sounding like a flippant bitch. Can anyone help me out here?

Re: Question about friending memes

(Anonymous) 2014-12-27 12:04 am (UTC)(link)
I think if you're looking for fandom friends who blog more about fandom than personal lives, the place to go is tumblr, not LJ.

Re: Question about friending memes

(Anonymous) 2014-12-27 12:07 am (UTC)(link)
AYRT - Well, like I said it's not even just personal lives. I have a friend whose personal life involves her experiences living in another country. Zero fandom, but it's still about something other than small bits and pieces.

Maybe "blogging" is a better word, even. Because I agree tumblr's a way better place for strictly fandom, although I don't like that you can't really interact there.

Re: Question about friending memes

(Anonymous) 2014-12-27 12:13 am (UTC)(link)
ayrt - Me neither, but part of dealing with fandom on LJ is dealing with the non-fandom parts. That's always been my experience of it, anyway, especially for older fandoms.

Re: Question about friending memes

(Anonymous) 2014-12-27 12:28 am (UTC)(link)
AYRT - I know what you mean, but before people at least went into detail about things. Like, they talked about problems they were having at work, not just "went to work today" or they talked about Girl Scout troop drama, not just "girl scout cookie day." Although it did help that you generally met people from other sites or LJ comms, not friending memes, so maybe some of it is that the more mundane stuff wasn't as mundane because you did tend to know them beforehand?

Re: Question about friending memes

(Anonymous) 2014-12-27 12:36 am (UTC)(link)
ayrt - Well, every fandom friend I have is a friend who was a total stranger at some point, so reading their journal was a little like picking up a book and starting in the middle. I didn't know what was going on in their lives, I didn't know the people they referred to or the other activities they were involved in, etc. so everything non-famdon was mundane. Getting to know them over time was mostly a matter of hearing these little details over the course of months or years. It was also a matter of asking questions and letting them know I was "listening" to what they had to say, even if I couldn't comment extensively on the topic. On a similar note, it usually works when people blog what they'd like to read. It draws people with shared interests.

I think that the lack of detail is partly down to LJ being so much quieter than it used to be. People don't go into as much detail if they don't think there are people reading who care to hear it. I guess I don't have any real answers, and I'm sorry. Making friends is a long process and online, it can be even longer because the interaction is limited. Good luck. :)
nanslice: (Default)

Re: Question about friending memes

[personal profile] nanslice 2014-12-27 12:33 am (UTC)(link)
I have some friends who mostly talk about offline life but they go into full detail and I basically get it know them in a meaningful way so I don't mind.

I understand what you're saying though. It's one thing to hear the daily routine of people you know; it's a different thing to hear the vague daily routine of a stranger on the internet.

Re: Question about friending memes

(Anonymous) 2014-12-27 12:37 am (UTC)(link)
I have the same issue. I recently participated, and of the 5 or 6 people who added me, they all gave me friends access... to things I just wasn't comfortable/interested in reading.

I felt like a shit for dropping two of them from my circle -- they wrote long posts about depression, suicide, health problems, needing money, and so on .. but I have friends already who I support through such things, I just can't take in every stray cat that meows at me. (I feel like a complete shithead for saying that, but it is true.)

I do wish that more people did fandom posts = public, IRL posts = flocked.

Re: Question about friending memes

(Anonymous) 2014-12-27 01:12 am (UTC)(link)
It's hard too because you don't know what to say.

Re: Question about friending memes

(Anonymous) 2014-12-27 02:21 am (UTC)(link)
A lot of people don't seem to understand that you don't just dump the dirty details of your life onto someone you've just met. Those are the kind of things you save for closer friends, not the person you're in line behind at the grocery store or someone you met on a friending meme.

It's called oversharing, and it is no bueno. I dump people the moment they start doing that because that is a sure sign of an emotional black hole.

Re: Question about friending memes

(Anonymous) 2014-12-27 02:48 am (UTC)(link)
not the person you're in line behind at the grocery store or someone you met on a friending meme.

NAYRT, but exactly. You let people in on those things as you grow closer to them. And even then you don't make them hear about it every single time you talk.

Re: Question about friending memes

(Anonymous) 2014-12-27 04:50 am (UTC)(link)
IA. That's what filters are for, and on LJ at least it's possible to create different levels of filters for your posts. Not sure why people wouldn't do this.