[ SECRET POST #2925 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2925 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 046 secrets from Secret Submission Post #418.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[anonymous4]

The thing about 40 pairs of shoes is, they don't love you back.

[cushlamochree]

Not until we invent sentient robo-shoes, anyway

[kallanda_lee]

My preciouuusssss....

Ha, honestly I'll settle for shoes that are actually cute and comfortable and my size ALL AT ONCE.

[esteefee]

!!!

[kallanda_lee]

Nor do stepchildren, necessarily.

I get what you mean, but, there's other forms of fulfillment than romantic love and/or parenthood.

[(Anonymous)]

your family might not either. Personally I'd take handbags-- shoes aren't really my thing.

[(Anonymous)]

Dogs will, though. Screw husband and kids, I'll get a dog and 40 pairs of shoes for it to chew on.

[diet_poison]

so? maybe that's not what some people are looking for.

I have no idea where you're coming from with this but it kind of reminds me of those people who have kids just because they want someone to love them which is all kinds of messed up.

[anonymous4]

I'm coming from 16 years on my own & having lost my parents in the meantime. I have no kids. It puts shoes in perspective.

[(Anonymous)]

The assumption that your kids are going to love you automatically is a huge mistake that many parents make.

My mum had major depression for about two years after I was born. She saw me as some kind of judgement devil sitting in the corner, controlling her (I mean literally) and we never bonded even after she got better. I'll never love her, she'll never love me. That's just the way it is. As for my brothers, they don't love her either. At best, we pity her.

Please don't assume your children will love you and have them on that basis.

[anonymous4]

I'm 57 and chose not to have kids. My mother was quite difficult. My ex-husband was a control freak. But I've been alone for 16 years & it's convinced me that relationships with other sentient beings are the most important things in life.

I think age makes a difference. When you get to my age, you start to realise that you've probably missed the boat.

[(Anonymous)]

Do people your age not go on dating websites? I know OKCupid skews young, but the paid sites tend to have more older people, so I hear... not to mention face-to-face dating services. You're bound to find someone if you look hard enough.

[anonymous4]

Oh, why didn't I think of that? Sixteen years wasted!

Paid dating sites wouldn't have me. They give a money back guarantee and judged me high risk.

[kallanda_lee]

And this is a big part of why I don't want kids.

With my history, I have a heightened chance of post partum depression, and I don't want to risk being in that state again, especially with a kid around.

[diet_poison]

Interestingly, while my family doesn't have post-partum depression, one reason I'm hesitant to have biological kids is we DO have a family history of depression among women (I got it pretty bad myself a few years ago) and I don't like the idea of having a daughter who has to go through it as well.

I definitely want kids, but adoption is something I've long considered and it's still on the table.

(On a tangential note, I'm really wondering now why post-partum depression is a thing. It seems really destructive, evolutionarily speaking.)

[kallanda_lee]

Well I personally have a history of depression (not PPD, since I never had kids), which is a risk factor.

My mom's cousin had PPD, though, and it was really effing bad. Like, she wanted to murder the child kind of bad. The had to physicall keep her away from him. And as horrible as it sounds, frankly I do not trust it's not something I'd be capable of, under certain circumstances.

As far as I understand, it's a think because pregnancy chances our hormonal balance (and becoming un-pregnant does, too), which can trigger depression. Yeah, it is destructive,evolutionarily speaking - though do keep in mind frequency of depression is also dependent on the society you live in ans even then it's low enough for a species to survive. Keep in mind that giving birth is extremely risky in itself (without modern medicine), so basically it's probably an acceptable loss, evolutionarily seen.

[diet_poison]

eeeeeeeesh. that sounds awful.

Actually after I made that last comment to you I looked up PPD out of curiosity. Turns out there are theories for its existence, though they're pretty bleak (not having the social resources to raise a younger child, for instance, and putting fewer resources into it).