[ SECRET POST #2925 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2925 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 046 secrets from Secret Submission Post #418.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[kallanda_lee]

I started reading the secret and started to disagree and then I finished it, and agreed.


I really like, in theory, the idea that you might prefer a life you didn't think of living before.

But why is it never a banker becoming a Zoo keeper, or a stuck-up spoiled girl who ends up doing volunteer work for war veterans, or someone in awful marriage who runs off to Nepal and finds love and friendship while trekking?

There are so many ways in which you could "break free", but yes, it's awful that the family & kids is always presented as the "best" options.

Screw that, I'll take the money and the 40 pairs of shoes.

[(Anonymous)]

I agree wholeheartedly with everything you said.

[(Anonymous)]

+1!

[(Anonymous)]

Well, with the movie in the example she got the handsome husband, the kids, the money and the 40 pairs of shoes. She didn't HAVE to choose. It was her money.

[kallanda_lee]

Yeah, I get that...but the message is still sort of the same: Your life and our heart will be empty until you get a husband/wife and kids.

I don't think the movie itself is that horrible, I saw it ears ago and even somewhat enjoyed it - but as a trope, I'm not a fan. And it would help if it was sort of balanced out, if there were more movies where people chose the another type of life.

DA

[(Anonymous)]

"Your life and our heart will be empty until you get a husband/wife and kids."

To be honest I didn't really get that out of that movie. I saw it as a person who was probably sheltered by wealth and privilege seeing life from the point of view of an everyday person and maybe seeing that material wealth isn't everything in life.

Though I would love to see a version of this where she does something like volunteer work, or maybe having her family lose their money rather than her getting amnesia and conned into being some redneck guy's wife.

[diet_poison]

It's a good lesson from the perspective that a woman doesn't have to choose between having a family and having a career/money. (Though maybe this was just wealth and not a career? I don't know, I haven't seen this and I might be thinking of something else)

Which is really important and was particularly relevant earlier on in feminism, when we hadn't yet progressed to the realization that not all women want a spouse and kids and a picket fence. But now, yeah, I definitely see where you're coming from.

[anonymous4]

The thing about 40 pairs of shoes is, they don't love you back.

[cushlamochree]

Not until we invent sentient robo-shoes, anyway

[kallanda_lee]

My preciouuusssss....

Ha, honestly I'll settle for shoes that are actually cute and comfortable and my size ALL AT ONCE.

[esteefee]

!!!

[kallanda_lee]

Nor do stepchildren, necessarily.

I get what you mean, but, there's other forms of fulfillment than romantic love and/or parenthood.

[(Anonymous)]

your family might not either. Personally I'd take handbags-- shoes aren't really my thing.

[(Anonymous)]

Dogs will, though. Screw husband and kids, I'll get a dog and 40 pairs of shoes for it to chew on.

[diet_poison]

so? maybe that's not what some people are looking for.

I have no idea where you're coming from with this but it kind of reminds me of those people who have kids just because they want someone to love them which is all kinds of messed up.

[anonymous4]

I'm coming from 16 years on my own & having lost my parents in the meantime. I have no kids. It puts shoes in perspective.

[(Anonymous)]

The assumption that your kids are going to love you automatically is a huge mistake that many parents make.

My mum had major depression for about two years after I was born. She saw me as some kind of judgement devil sitting in the corner, controlling her (I mean literally) and we never bonded even after she got better. I'll never love her, she'll never love me. That's just the way it is. As for my brothers, they don't love her either. At best, we pity her.

Please don't assume your children will love you and have them on that basis.

[nightscale]

I agree with this, if we saw more variations on this trope rather than 'got married+had kids=super happy for ever' it'd be cool because there's so much to play with when it comes to it.

And tbh I want to see your banker becoming a zookeeper idea, that sounds fun.

[kallanda_lee]

I'd genuinely watch/read that, too. I don't so much see it as fanfic, though. So it wouldn't be an original story and those are trickier.

[(Anonymous)]

The thing that bothers me is also the fact that having a spouse and kids is sold as the secret to happiness. There are just as many instances in real life where making a family couldn't save a dying relationship or stop someone from being unhappy, and they were only unhappier with the additional responsibility of taking care of small children. I don't like the fact that settling down is presented as the only solution, particularly if it's for a female character, seeing as I'm a woman who's never felt a burning desire to marry a man or become a mother.

[(Anonymous)]

Ally Sheedy did one. She was rich, fairy godmother made her a poor maid, and she learned the value of just being a good person. She got to keep the money without having to have kids or anything else she didn't want.

[kallanda_lee]

What was the title of that one?

[diet_poison]

I'd read any of those if they were well-written, they all sound cool. Also I'd read one where someone went from one marriage/family that was unhealthy into a better one. Or maybe one where they stayed with the same family and other parts of their life changed (or stayed single and other things changed but I think you already covered that one lol)

So many ways to mix it up!

[(Anonymous)]

40 pairs of shoes, that's it? i have over 100 pairs and i'm not even rich.

[(Anonymous)]

I have only six pairs of shoes and I'm quite rich.

I do have two pairs of furry boot slippers on top of that though. Oh, the luxury. Seriously, you haven't lived unless you've worn ankle boot slippers lined with fake fur.