[ SECRET POST #2925 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2925 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 046 secrets from Secret Submission Post #418.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[fscom]

05. http://i.imgur.com/9Ai2fMk.png

[(Anonymous)]

Agreed, anon.

[(Anonymous)]

I don't think I've ever felt that way about movies because I don't take them seriously, but I get that way about books.
I read a book recently that I thought was going to be about an adult sister relationship, but turned into a story about a lady who gave up her career for her true calling of moving to a small town and having babies. Though I wouldn't have minded so much if it hadn't been a bait and switch, I think.

[(Anonymous)]

Yeah but Kurt Russell tho

[(Anonymous)]

I can sympathize with you but tbh I love that there's so much stuff like that because it's like pornography to me. Not the switching into a different life stuff, I mean just the small town domesticity big family stuff. So sorry for being a dope but I love that stuff and eat it up.

[(Anonymous)]

Um except the lady in your example was (before her amnesia) more of a brat than the kids. She was totally spoiled rotten and probably living off Daddy's money.

(Granted I will say that what the guy did was downright skeevy himself)

[iceyred]

I hate movies like that too. Thank God I don't have to watch them.

[anonymous4]

I used to be dirt poor, technically homeless in fact, but married. Now I have a responsible job, my own house, my own car, regular holidays, but I'm single. Ideally, I'd want my current life and a relationship... but there's nothing like being alone for 16 years, and in the meantime losing both of your parents, to teach you the value of loving and being loved. If I it came to a choice, I'd go back to being poor with a (slightly less of a jerk) husband.

[(Anonymous)]

Agreed. People are always going on about how you have to learn to be alone and live with yourself and blah blah, but honestly, I've been alone for too damn long to be OK with the prospect of staying that way for the foreseeable future.

[(Anonymous)]

depends on the person; I'm perfectly fine being alone and I know others who are too. Some people don't need love.

[kallanda_lee]

I started reading the secret and started to disagree and then I finished it, and agreed.


I really like, in theory, the idea that you might prefer a life you didn't think of living before.

But why is it never a banker becoming a Zoo keeper, or a stuck-up spoiled girl who ends up doing volunteer work for war veterans, or someone in awful marriage who runs off to Nepal and finds love and friendship while trekking?

There are so many ways in which you could "break free", but yes, it's awful that the family & kids is always presented as the "best" options.

Screw that, I'll take the money and the 40 pairs of shoes.

[(Anonymous)]

I agree wholeheartedly with everything you said.

[(Anonymous)]

+1!

[(Anonymous)]

Same. That's a problem that plagues a lot of movies/TV shows/etc., though. My other big pet peeve is a cousin of that, wherein characters are always shown spending things like Christmases or birthdays with their "found family" group of friends or their bf/gf instead of their families, which bugs me because it implies that if you don't outgrow your family and form your own with your friends or an SO, you'll eventually end up alone. Which, I mean, it's true, in a way, but I don't like being reminded of something I can't control.

[(Anonymous)]

Gonna take a moment to stand up for Desperately Seeking Susan, in which she learns that she would much rather be like Madonna even after the amnesia's gone.

[cushlamochree]

I enjoy that movie a decent bit but prepared to attribute that entirely to Kurt Russell, I think I could watch any movie he was in.

No strong feelings on your secret itself sorry

[(Anonymous)]

That's not what I got from the movie but I can see how you'd feel that way and not like it!

[(Anonymous)]

What I hate about it is the disparity in the way male and female characters get treated in movies like these. If a male character is in that situation it seems like it's usually that he's already been married and is either divorced or going through a separation or estranged from the kids he already has, and his fulfillment is getting back together with them. It's also usually not at the complete expense of having a career, just learning not to overwork or else his job involves him being a predatory asshole kicking widows and orphans out of their homes, and he ends with a new job helping the poor and downtrodden. With female characters, they have to find a shiny new man and pop out shiny new babies and half the time give up their career entirely because Babies.

[(Anonymous)]

The movies aren't speaking directly to you or your life, they're not implying marriage is better than remaining single, especially the ones made 30 years ago. No one is judging you for not wanting marriage. Relax, OP.

[(Anonymous)]

Now you know how society works. Every day in every way, pressure to make you conform.

Maybe...

[(Anonymous)]

In some of those stories it may be about feeling responsible for the children as much as about one's own personal preferences. I don't know.

But there are certain moral norms in a lot of Hollywood movies. Maybe you'd find what you're looking for in something European, or really indie.

[thelonebamf]

So... this was one of the few movies my mom had on VHS and she watched it ALL THE TIME so I've seen it over and over and considered it from half a dozen different angles.

For what it's worth, something I haven't seen mentioned is that she doesn't suddenly get a husband- she gets a... well "better" husband, as far as the movie is concerned. (Yes, I agree, what he does is awful and several kinds of immoral- but I'm just going by the movie's morality code, I guess.) By the movie's logic, she didn't suddenly realize she wanted to be married (as she had been married already) she realized what her marriage was lacking- as in, any real emotion or intimacy (or a partner who would even care if she were gone). That makes me think that the message isn't so much about finding a family and kids as it is about learning to think about someone beyond yourself, and that in turn you deserve to be with those who think about you. (But of course, this message is totally diluted and this doesn't change the fact that there are very few movies like the ones you want to see!)

Out of curiosity, I wonder how you feel about movies like "Baby Boom" (same era, Dianne Keaton). She decides early on to take on a baby, loses the guy she's dating when he decides it's too much (again, implied lack of intimacy in the relationship), moves to the country and then (SPOILERS) STARTS A REVOLUTIONARY BABY FOOD INDUSTRY OUT OF HER HOME AND MAKES THE BUSINESSMEN WHO SCORNED HER COME CRAWLING BACK FOR MORE AND WHEN THEY DO SHE LAUGHS AT THEM AND DECIDES TO RULE HER EMPIRE ON HER OWN. Yes, she gets a kid and a hot new boyfriend out of it, but the message was more about stepping outside of her established world (the rat race), realizing it wasn't A)everything and B)the only way to do things and C)the only or best source of pride for her.

Here are a few that don't quite follow that pattern.

[(Anonymous)]

Well, there’s Desperately Seeking Susan – where the housewife loses her memory and thinks she has a rather interesting life and when she gets her memory back, she leaves her husband. There’s Men in Black II – Kay didn’t really seem happy in his non-agent life. Total Recall – yeah, he doesn’t exactly end up with his “wife”.

[(Anonymous)]

Am I the only one who found this movie creepy and the Kurt Russell character a right skeeve? He manipulated a woman with amnesia for sexual purposes.

[(Anonymous)]

Kind of OT(?), but this is why I can't stand Ghibli films and animes with the troupe of going back for your family, friends, or world especially when it was a situation MC was unhappy with.

I get that it's illogical to stay for love or brand new friends, but it's crappy just to go back to something they equally hated because they momentarily missed their old life.

I wish there were some animes (or even movies) that showed people staying, but I can't think of or don't know of any.