[ SECRET POST #2925 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2925 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 046 secrets from Secret Submission Post #418.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

+ 1

It seems like people are more tolerant of men not sticking to gender roles in a same-sex relationship. Maybe it's because of stereotypes about gay men being feminine (or straight men always being masculine - I've noticed that many people will have no problem accepting that a gay man can be masculine, but will refuse to believe that a feminine man can be straight). Or maybe they think one person in a relationship always has to be "the man" so a guy can be less masculine (not that I think showing emotion is necessarily unmasculine) with another guy but not with a girl. And sometimes I wonder if it's because it's okay for a man to see their partner's vulnerable side, but if you're a woman, your partner is supposed to be tough and dominating and protect you (and possibly keep you in line :/ ) so you can't be allowed to see any "weakness."

Anyway, I really hate the idea that it's okay for a guy to be emotional or not fit gender stereotypes in a same sex relationship, but has to be Manly McTestosterone with a woman.

[lb_lee]

Yeah. And at the same time, it bothers me that there's sorta this... presumption that somehow being queer will magically make all this easier for a guy. It's just kind of a mess, and it ties into these kind of gross messages and such. Communication is for "less masculine" men, that there's some sacrifice of masculinity at all in communicating or emoting... it's actually pretty toxic!

And I know when I was first coming out, I tried to massively overcompensate by being as big a macho blowhard as possible. It sucked. I'm glad I'm not like that anymore; I was a royal pain in the ass.

(And this might be why in one of the series I write, the sweet femme guy is bi, not pan, and his not-quite-female alien girlfriend is tough as nails and has trouble emoting, while he cries and likes to talk about feelings.)

[diet_poison]

I hate that too, as a straight woman who reeeeally isn't into Manly McTestosterones. :P

In seriousness though, or at least, from a less self-centered viewpoint: yes. And in general we still police masculinity in so many stupid ways.