[ SECRET POST #2926 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2926 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 036 secrets from Secret Submission Post #418.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 1 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

Re: Nicest way to tell people I need space?

[diet_poison]

Your friend sounds a lot like me 8-ish years ago.

If she's immature, or in a really really emotionally bad place, or both, she's not going to take it well, even though you are absolutely within your rights to ask for space and in fact it sounds like it's what you NEED right now and is therefore the best choice.

If it helps you could always try to allude to your problems or only share part of them and say "that's not even all of it but I don't want to talk about the rest".

Do explain, though, if you are able - it's harder not to take things personally if they're abrupt and without much explanation. I don't mean explain all your problems, but explain you need space in general and it's not just her and you will get back to her soon (define "soon" how you think you should, in your circumstance). It's very easy to misconstrue sudden distance as something she did or something that's personal (might be kinda true here but it doesn't sound like it's because she's a Bad Person) and that can feel hurtful even if the person doing the distancing isn't doing anything wrong - just another perspective, here.

Also, I hope for her sake that she has other people in her support network, and if she doesn't, that she gets some other people, because it's never healthy to just have one person to lean on (for the leaner or the leanee).

Re: Nicest way to tell people I need space?

[(Anonymous)]

Thank you for bringing this perspective, I'm so suffocated with stress right now I've been having a hard time making heads or tails on how to deal with the situation so this is appreciated.

You are probably right that no matter how gently I try to explain, she's not going to take it well and I just have to face that.

You're right that no explanation or a vague explanation will just make it easier for her to think it's a personal slight. :/ I'm just really bad at talking about anything related to my history of abuse, the conversations that follow that topic are always awkward and painful so I always do my best to avoid them. I mostly just don't want her to see how scared I am right now. But I'll try to give her a better explanation.

She has possibly one other person she can lean on right now, but that might be it. You're completely right that it's never healthy to have just one person to lean on. I'll keep this in mind and see if she has another support besides me because I highly doubt I'm a good one right now.

Thank you!

Re: Nicest way to tell people I need space?

[diet_poison]

You're welcome, and I hope it helps in some way.

It sounds like you're in a bad place right now and I hope it gets better very, very soon. *hugs if wanted*