Case (
case) wrote in
fandomsecrets2015-01-17 03:26 pm
[ SECRET POST #2936 ]
⌈ Secret Post #2936 ⌋
Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.
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Notes:
Secrets Left to Post: 03 pages, 066 secrets from Secret Submission Post #420.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ], [ 1 - text secret ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Re: Fandom Annoyances
Yep. He's horrified and yet he trudges forth. I said in one of my posts "He held and holds some horrible opinions, no doubt. He always had some disdain for Narns, G'Kar especially. What he wanted from Morden was a return the glory days, when the Centauri were the rulers of a glorious empire. A glorious empire built with blood and bones on the backs of the dead. He knows what a return to the glory days means. But, until he had the blood of thousands of dead Narns on his conscience, I don't believe he'd really internalized what it really meant. And, once he's been responsible for so much death it becomes easier to become responsible for more. What's one more raindrop when you're already soaked?"
I love that's he never really "makes up" for his actions. They are absolutely not justified in any way and his wrongness begets more mistakes than fixes. His sacrifice of silence and chains could have been avoided if only, if only... but he was so mired with a sense of the inevitable. He could see nothing but his people, whom he'd help destroy, and his duty to them-- and his death dream.
His story is certainly a gamut of emotions, for sure.
Re: Fandom Annoyances
(Anonymous) 2015-01-18 01:10 am (UTC)(link)Even then, I don't think it would have affected him quite so badly if he hadn't known G'Kar first. If he hadn't struggled with G'Kar face to face, hadn't seen G'Kar's genuine and honest hopes for peace with the Centauri Emperor (that goddamn moment was so horrible and so good), hadn't seen G'Kar's visceral and very personal sense of betrayal and rage and helpless fury at what happened afterwards, I think those thousands of Narn might still have been only a number to him. But he did know G'Kar first, and he did personally betray G'Kar first, and he had to see and listen and acknowledge G'Kar's pain afterwards, Vir's horror and guilt, the disapproval of the other station personnel who'd been his friends.
And the worst of it was, yes, he knew even as he did it. From the moment he sees G'Kar's hope and realises that he'd already destroyed it beyond any hope of repair, he just keeps walking into darkness knowing full fucking well that that's what he's doing. He keeps trying to save things out of the wreckage later, to salvage something from what he's ruined, but there's that horrible sense of inevitability to it all, especially when he's Centauri and they're raised from birth to know their own deaths and walk towards them anyway.
It's one of the best and worst things about his arc: he's so incredibly understandable and even likable as a person, and he does such utterly horrific, utterly irreversible things.