[ SECRET POST #2944 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2944 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 03 pages, 058 secrets from Secret Submission Post #421.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

I have a deep inability to grasp how anyone could possibly fall in love with a fandom friend, but I'm sorry you're in a difficult situation, OP.

[kallanda_lee]

Just like you could fall in love with an other friend?

[(Anonymous)]

But...you don't meet fandom friends offline very much except at cons and other meetups, and usually talk to them mostly about fandom, and don't really do things together. Fandom friends are not like real friends (doesn't mean they're less important, just the interaction is generally very different). I don't see where the basis for falling in love comes in.

[kallanda_lee]

I met my two previous boyfriends on IRC, and definitely did fall in love from mostly just talking to them, before meeting. Well, or crush on them at the very least.

[(Anonymous)]

I talk to my "fandom friends" every day, usually on FB. They know more about my true self than my actual friends do because they don't think I'm weird.

[(Anonymous)]

I met my girlfriend of two and a half years through fandom.

We're currently living together.

I mean, you can fall in love with someone over something as simple as them saying "thank you" at the right time. Why would it be different just because you met through fandom?

[(Anonymous)]

massive amounts of people fall in love with people online. this has been going on for decades now.

[(Anonymous)]

I have unfortunately been able to fall in love with someone from just reading his book, so I assure you that repeated face-to-face interaction is not necessary for those feelings to arise.

[elaminator]

I'm going to second kallanda, I imagine it's pretty much the same thing as falling in love with any other friend.

I've loved my fandom friends, though I've never fallen in love with them. It would be easy enough, I think. (And I know plenty of people who have experienced it.)

[arcadiaego]

Why would it be different to falling in love with any other friend?

[(Anonymous)]

You and me both, nonny. I think it's a product of social media culture/everybody glued to a screen, with hardly any RL interaction anymore.

....Or I could just be an old so-and-so who just doesn't get it....

[(Anonymous)]

There are cases of pen pals falling in love, back in the days of "snail mail."

It's really not that weird, unless you think that you have to be physically attracted to someone to experience romantic love.

[lb_lee]

That's kind of an odd thing to say. I've met a LOT of my friends through online friends, and in one case moved to a city specifically because I already had online friends there who I'd met offline a few times. The barriers between online friends and offline have never been rock solid for me.

[(Anonymous)]

You mean I'm actually meeting people I have something in common with instead of awkwardly finding people who have things only tangentially related to things I care about? And that's a bad thing just because I'm online?

[(Anonymous)]

Oh please don't bring up this pseudo-luddite "technology is making us disconnected" stuff, it's so tiring. And I'm saying this as a fellow old-timer. People are more connected than ever before, and it's no less good and no less intimate.

OP response

[(Anonymous)]

I met the man from my current relationship of 7 years through the internet.
So it's not weird for me.
My feelings are not dependent on physical interaction.

[(Anonymous)]

Married my fandom friend, 5 years together in person before that.

I also have fandom friends I have as 'real' friends too, we get together, hang out, watch movies. It's not an everyday thing because it's a long drive, but making friends because of common hobbies is kind of.... life. How's a fandom friend any different from a golf buddy?