case: (Default)
Case ([personal profile] case) wrote in [community profile] fandomsecrets2015-01-25 04:07 pm

[ SECRET POST #2944 ]


⌈ Secret Post #2944 āŒ‹

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 03 pages, 058 secrets from Secret Submission Post #421.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

[personal profile] herpymcderp 2015-01-25 09:28 pm (UTC)(link)
You should start a support group for the "I'm in love with my fandom friend" problem. You could probably amass a small army.

(Anonymous) 2015-01-25 09:48 pm (UTC)(link)
Ditto. Where do I sign up?
kallanda_lee: (Default)

[personal profile] kallanda_lee 2015-01-25 10:00 pm (UTC)(link)
I feel especially people who RP. There's something about RP that can mess with your head if you're not careful.

[personal profile] herpymcderp 2015-01-25 10:11 pm (UTC)(link)
If you're a person who is especially susceptible to suggestion ... yeah, that's probably true. Or someone who is lonely and rp is the only source of intimacy in your life...

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[personal profile] kallanda_lee - 2015-01-25 22:36 (UTC) - Expand
cloud_riven: Stick-man styled Apollo Justice wearing a Santa hat, and also holding a giant candy cane staff. (Default)

[personal profile] cloud_riven 2015-01-25 11:17 pm (UTC)(link)
I always figured it was a teen thing, but I can totally picture an adult getting too immersed in their game too.

(Anonymous) 2015-01-25 11:55 pm (UTC)(link)
Especially when the RP ventures into smut territory.

I've watched some RP collabs in my fandoms get really, really weird and fraught because of that. At some point, it starts coming across as if they're having cyber sex.
lb_lee: A happy little brain with a bandage on it, enclosed within a circle with the words LB Lee. (emotions)

[personal profile] lb_lee 2015-01-26 12:30 am (UTC)(link)
Oh god, I never even thought of that. Man, that could really fuck with your head, couldn't it? D: *shudder*

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[personal profile] kallanda_lee - 2015-01-26 00:33 (UTC) - Expand

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[personal profile] lb_lee - 2015-01-26 01:10 (UTC) - Expand
darkmanifest: (Default)

[personal profile] darkmanifest 2015-01-26 01:20 am (UTC)(link)
Oh, god, may this never happen to me.

(Anonymous) 2015-01-26 02:13 am (UTC)(link)
I so fucking agree. I used to RP with my friend and our feelings started to get romantic to the point where we were contemplating breaking up our current relationships to be with each other so yeah... It can fuck you up if you can't detach from OTP feelings.

(Anonymous) 2015-01-26 03:38 am (UTC)(link)
I personally know three couples who met through RPing. I have a bunch of friends who all RP together, most of them are married women, and every couple of months there's a total clusterfuck of drama because someone loses sight of boundaries and things get a little too real.

(Anonymous) 2015-01-25 09:50 pm (UTC)(link)
I have a deep inability to grasp how anyone could possibly fall in love with a fandom friend, but I'm sorry you're in a difficult situation, OP.
kallanda_lee: (Default)

[personal profile] kallanda_lee 2015-01-25 10:00 pm (UTC)(link)
Just like you could fall in love with an other friend?

(Anonymous) 2015-01-25 10:46 pm (UTC)(link)
But...you don't meet fandom friends offline very much except at cons and other meetups, and usually talk to them mostly about fandom, and don't really do things together. Fandom friends are not like real friends (doesn't mean they're less important, just the interaction is generally very different). I don't see where the basis for falling in love comes in.

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(Anonymous) - 2015-01-26 18:25 (UTC) - Expand
elaminator: (Almost Human: Dorian (smile))

[personal profile] elaminator 2015-01-25 10:07 pm (UTC)(link)
I'm going to second kallanda, I imagine it's pretty much the same thing as falling in love with any other friend.

I've loved my fandom friends, though I've never fallen in love with them. It would be easy enough, I think. (And I know plenty of people who have experienced it.)
arcadiaego: Grey, cartoon cat Pusheen being petted (Default)

[personal profile] arcadiaego 2015-01-25 10:50 pm (UTC)(link)
Why would it be different to falling in love with any other friend?

(Anonymous) 2015-01-25 11:05 pm (UTC)(link)
You and me both, nonny. I think it's a product of social media culture/everybody glued to a screen, with hardly any RL interaction anymore.

....Or I could just be an old so-and-so who just doesn't get it....

(Anonymous) 2015-01-25 11:57 pm (UTC)(link)
There are cases of pen pals falling in love, back in the days of "snail mail."

It's really not that weird, unless you think that you have to be physically attracted to someone to experience romantic love.
lb_lee: M.D. making a shocked, confused face (serious thought)

[personal profile] lb_lee 2015-01-26 12:32 am (UTC)(link)
That's kind of an odd thing to say. I've met a LOT of my friends through online friends, and in one case moved to a city specifically because I already had online friends there who I'd met offline a few times. The barriers between online friends and offline have never been rock solid for me.

(Anonymous) 2015-01-26 01:29 am (UTC)(link)
You mean I'm actually meeting people I have something in common with instead of awkwardly finding people who have things only tangentially related to things I care about? And that's a bad thing just because I'm online?

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(Anonymous) - 2015-01-26 02:04 (UTC) - Expand

OP response

(Anonymous) 2015-01-26 01:56 am (UTC)(link)
I met the man from my current relationship of 7 years through the internet.
So it's not weird for me.
My feelings are not dependent on physical interaction.

(Anonymous) 2015-01-26 03:34 am (UTC)(link)
Married my fandom friend, 5 years together in person before that.

I also have fandom friends I have as 'real' friends too, we get together, hang out, watch movies. It's not an everyday thing because it's a long drive, but making friends because of common hobbies is kind of.... life. How's a fandom friend any different from a golf buddy?

(Anonymous) 2015-01-25 10:32 pm (UTC)(link)
I think you buried the lead. This is about how you're not happy in your current relationship. Look into that issue before you try to deal with this one, maybe? If the problems are RELATED to the crush, then the relationship issues could be related, but if they're not...the feelings for the fandom friend could be a symptom of relationship issues, you know what I mean? It's worth looking into.

Transcript

(Anonymous) 2015-01-25 11:07 pm (UTC)(link)
Image: a silhouette of a person sitting on the ground, staring off into space

Text: I am quickly developing a massive crush on one of my fandom friends.

Both of us are in relationships. (Although I’m not particularly happy with mine.) And my orientation is incompatible, or so I thought it was.

Well, shit.

(Anonymous) 2015-01-26 02:16 am (UTC)(link)
Shit. This makes me wonder if this secret is directed at me somehow.