[ SECRET POST #2948 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2948 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 00 pages, 000 secrets from Secret Submission Post #421.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

Re: Burdensome friend (talk of mental disorders)

[lb_lee]

Look, I'm not borderline or on the spectrum, but I AM severely mentally ill. And speaking as someone who's crazy, our crazy is not your problem, and you shouldn't have to MAKE it your problem. Mental illness is an explanation, not an excuse. Even if there IS a cure, it requires lots of hard work and slogging and most of all, COPING. You can't just skip to the cure. There's a ton of management first, and sometimes, management is as far as you get.

Sometimes, you just don't have the energy to deal with someone, and that's okay.

--Rogan

Re: Burdensome friend (talk of mental disorders)

[were_lemur]

This.

I have bipolar disorder. I was diagnosed almost five years ago. Since then, I've gotten a lot better at recognizing where my own mood is and how it might be having negative effects on my behavior.

But this? Is my shit to deal with. And your friend's Aspergers/BPD is their shit to deal with. If you want to help them, fine. But you cannot fix them, any more than any of my friends could fix my bipolar.

Also, because they are my friends, I listen to them when they do tell me something they are worried about. Such as "you seem to be a little withdrawn, maybe you're depressed?" Or "you've been talking a mile a minute all afternoon so maybe you're starting to go manic?" Because they are outside my head and not wrapped up in my Crazy, they can sometimes see things I can't.

But it's not their responsibility, it's mine. And while I would hate to lose any of my friends, I would also hate for them to see me as a burden that they are obligated to take care of even though they don't actually like me anymore.

Because of this, I do my best to manage my own shit, so they're not stuck dealing with it every time we hang out.

Re: Burdensome friend (talk of mental disorders)

[lb_lee]

Yup! I try to cultivate a lot of friends, with the interest of not draining them. If I have a friend who can't handle one facet of me, that's okay, because I have others who can! So by keeping a lot of friends, I'm able to be less draining and spare myself some sanity. (Plus have a nice active social life, which isn't a bad thing either.)

I really appreciate when they can offer insights into my behavior and thought process, from their outsider standpoint, but I try to tell folks beforehand that if they do not feel up to running support for me, that's okay. A lot of them are dealing with their own shit, so I don't want to drain THEM.

--Rogan