fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #2949 ]

⌈ Secret Post #2949 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

01.

[Persona 4]

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[Howl's Moving Castle]

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04.

[True Detective]

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[Homestuck]

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[Jane the Virgin]

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08.

(Transformers Armada)

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12.

[Hannibal - Richard Armitage/Lee Pace]

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15. [ SPOILERS for Into the Woods ]

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16. [ SPOILERS for Dragon Age ]

Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 00 pages, 000 secrets from Secret Submission Post #421.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 1 - not!secrets ], [ 1 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

"Well that's assuming the way people do things in another country is objectively better than the way you did things in your own country. "

I'm not saying it's better. But if you're in need and a friend gives you a roof over your head, I do think that you should respect their way of life and not infringe on it. Of course, people should be free to pursue the lives they want in their new countries, but I don't think they have the right to demand that that new country CHANGE for them.

And if you won't assimilate (which, hey, some people choose) then you have to deal with the consequences.

What consequences would those be?

Let's say you're a woman that moves to Saudi Arabia and refuses to go out veiled. As far as I'm concerned you're a moron. I think Saudi Arabia's laws are shit, but if you want to change things, that's not going to happen by you moving there and going against their customs. Similarly, expecting not to have to conform to the culture makes you an imbecile, not a feminist hero.

I have no sympathy if you willingly move there and then complain because your dumb ass doesn't like the customs.

Yeah, a lot of the laws are shit. But if you went there, you're accepting that you have to abide by them.

You haven't answered my question. I asked what consequences you mean. You haven't actually STATED what consequences you feel are acceptable.

Exclusion, for one.

If you won't learn the language, for example, then how do you expect people to include you?

Or, for example, if you believe pre-marital sex is wrong...well...good luck with your kids, then, because there's a good chance they're going to grow up thinking VERY differently about it than you did.

Okay, so exclusion. Is that all?

Well it depends on what you won't assimilate into, doesn't it?

If you won't learn the language, you're going to face different consequences than if you want to wear traditional clothing.

If you wear things that conceal your face, don't be surprised if people view you as a security concern.

Enh, saying 'won't' learn the language makes it sound like immigrants are specifically choosing not to learn the local language out of sheer spite. Most folks, learning a new language is hard, and there's going to be a learning curve no matter how devoted someone is. Second-generation kids who are born into both languages are far more likely to pick it up, just because it's easier for a kid to learn.

Also, I come from Texas, where over one in three people is Hispanic. With such an overwhelming portion of the population speaking Spanish, I consider not having both languages in regular use wrong-headed at best. It's no longer an assimilation issue; it's just flat out pragmatics.

Here's an easy one.

In the US, we have a tipping culture. If you're from a country that doesn't tip and you frequent a restaurant and refuse to do so, don't be surprised if you get SUPER-shitty service.

Oh god tipping is the WORST. It's one of those stupid little things that's very easy not to know about. Back when I traveled overseas, I remember being so paranoid and just tipping even when I wasn't sure, just to make it easier.

Sometimes, I just wish there was a big manual of, "Things You Should Know When You Come To [Insert Country Here]."

well, the wikitravel site is usually pretty good for that kind of advice?

Respecting someone's customs and choosing to follow them for yourself are mutually exclusive ideas. You can still throw your hands up and back away slowly if your friend insists on throwing away plastics instead of recycling them. Doesn't mean you can't keep a bin in your own room.

It's not an all or nothing deal, you know? You can't go making this out like it's black and white because that's assuming that all the citizens of any country you're likely to immigrate to have the same culture and behaviours in the first place, which is just demonstrably untrue.

Like, what would you have a person from China do if they came to live in the USA? Even in California they would have to choose from black culture, queer culture, Hispanic culture, Vietnamese culture... all of which have nearly the same right to exist there as the person's own former culture does.

I think acculturation is much preferable to assimilation

[ SECRET POST #2949 ]

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