[ SECRET POST #2949 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2949 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

01.
[Persona 4]


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02.


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03.
[Howl's Moving Castle]


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04.
[True Detective]


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05.
[Homestuck]


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06.
[Jane the Virgin]


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07.


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08.
(Transformers Armada)


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09.


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10.


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11.


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12.
[Hannibal - Richard Armitage/Lee Pace]


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13.


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14.


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15. [ SPOILERS for Into the Woods ]



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16. [ SPOILERS for Dragon Age ]













Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 00 pages, 000 secrets from Secret Submission Post #421.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 1 - not!secrets ], [ 1 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

Re: Confession thread

[(Anonymous)]

I acknowledge that bullying is an issue, but I think people really need to address the cluelessness of (a) so many teachers and guidance counselors (stop telling kids to use the damn "I message" - they KNOW they're making Mary sad, that's why they're being mean to her), and (b) so many parents - if your kid is kicking you at the store, flatly saying "stop that Johnny" won't do a thing.

Also, anti-bullying seminars are fine, but in the long run will probably only really impact a certain amount of kids, most of whom were never going to bully in the first place.

Re: Confession thread

[(Anonymous)]

You know what's equally as annoying? Parents who tell their kids "Just ignore him, sweetie."

Case in point: My brother. He says something shitty to me. Immediate response from parents: "Just ignore him."

Okay, good job reinforcing the message that he can shit on other people and do whatever he wants with zero repercussions.

Ignoring someone doing something shitty does not fix the problem. It just reinforces their behaviour. I will never understand why teachers and parents recommend this.

NAYRT

[(Anonymous)]

I recently developed a theory about why the whole "Ignore them and they'll go away" thing persists. Or one possible reason, at least.

From the point of view of someone who experienced bullying when they were much younger, it's true--ignore someone long enough and they will go away, eventually.

The key is the 'eventually' part. As people grow older, their subjective experience of time compresses--i.e., a given period of time feels shorter and seems to pass quicker than it did when they were kids. So someone in their late 30s, 40s, 50s, looks back at middle school or high school (or home, before they moved out on their own) and realizes that they only had to put up with that shit for a few years. Which, to them, at that point in their lives, doesn't seem like that long anymore.

They forget (or they remember only vaguely, or they still understand intellectually but don't really feel it anymore) that to a preteen or teenager, a year can be an eternity.

Re: NAYRT

[(Anonymous)]

Original anon - I think this is it exactly.

Re: Confession thread

[(Anonymous)]

The idea is that by ignoring, you're not giving the bully the thing they want most, which is usually a reaction to their behavior. They want to know they're getting to you (which is why people will e.g. send anon hate on Tumblr, and then check your Tumblr repeatedly for days afterwards to see if you've acknowledged them). A lot of bullying feeds on that, so in theory if that supply is cut off and they don't get what they want, they stop because it's become boring and not worth the effort.

In theory, at least. Sometimes it works well, and sometimes it doesn't make any difference. Sometimes they just move on to someone else where they DO get the reaction they want.

IMO ignoring is definitely a good tool to have in any behavioral issue toolbox (hell, it even works with dogs - they actually tend to pick up on not getting the attention they're looking for faster than humans do), but it should be just that: one tool among many.