[ SECRET POST #2950 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2950 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 03 pages, 065 secrets from Secret Submission Post #422.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

Straight people are privileged viz. gay people. On top of that, there is a long and terrible history of people trying to force gay people to become straight. A straight person indulging in a fantasy of being with a gay person is not good for those reasons.

[lb_lee]

Look, anon. I'm gay. I get weirded out, the time or two that a strange girl has said she'd do me.

But if said Anon Girl is having a fantasy about plowing me in her own little head, and that's it, she's not oppressing me. She's not DOING anything that impacts me. Her private fantasy has absolutely NO EFFECT on my life or how people treat me.

I fully believe that people should be able to fantasize about whatever they want in the confines of their little skulls. There's a difference between fantasy and reality, and trying to control people's fantasies, in my opinion, is not going to control their behavior.

--Rogan

[(Anonymous)]

I'm glad that it doesn't bother you, but it can be very bothersome to others.

[lb_lee]

Your bother < someone's right to fantasize about whatever they want.

Seriously, if you don't even KNOW a fantasy is happening privately, how can it bother you? If someone is shoving it in your face, that's one thing. But just private fantasies? Come on, man, that's just creepy.

--Rogan

[(Anonymous)]

Fantasies can strengthen detrimental attitudes. I'd like to think that fantasies are separate from life, but you just can't separate them completely. Your social situation and the attitudes you have picked up from society are always going to have an effect. So I think we can be critical of fantasies from that perspective. We can't tell anyone what to think, but we can ask people to think about where a fantasy is coming from and whether it might effect on how they're seeing other people. And if it's a fantasy that can cause them to see other people in a negative way, I don't think it's wrong to ask them to try not to indulge in it.

[lb_lee]

This entire post is about a dream, which is not controllable by most people and often has NO relation to what a person would do or want in real life.

You are making a slippery slope argument to justify controlling other people's private thoughts because it MIGHT encourage cruel behavior. Even though you have no evidence of this, and that's an incredibly creepy, totalitarian way to view society. You aren't going to persuade me otherwise, I'm obviously not going to persuade you, so let's just drop it and I'll keep on fantasizing about whatever I want, eh?

--Rogan

[(Anonymous)]

It's not about controlling other people's thoughts but asking them to think about fantasies critically and not indulge them if it seems they come from a bad place and could be harmful.

But you are right, we are going to be at an impasse, so it's better for this to be the last of it. I hope you have a good night.

[diet_poison]

I think the way people think about others affects how they fantasize more than the other way around.

[diet_poison]

The first two: yes. The third: a fantasy is something that only happens in your mind. I really do not see the harm as long as you don't voice it to the person in question.

[(Anonymous)]

It can be harmless to a point, but we are taught to view people of certain groups in certain ways, and a lot of times those ways are detrimental. If you indulge too much in a fantasy that has to do with seeing people in a harmful way, it can eventually be harmful, because it can strengthen those attitudes.

[diet_poison]

Can you expand that a little bit? In what specific way would such a fantasy turn harmful (for the person having it or for anyone else)?

[anonymous4]

And how do you plan to stop people doing something that is totally beyond their control, like having wet dreams?

If you could, it would be a hell of a lot more oppressive than people having dreams about other people.

[(Anonymous)]

I don't think it's wrong just to think it or have dreams because like you said, people don't have control over that. But I think it's wrong to indulge and feed the fantasy.

[anonymous4]

For me, knowing that a man does not find women attractive is like having a great big bucket of cold water thrown over me on the fantasy front, but I am sure there are people who would therefore 'call me out' for homophobia... You can't win in this world.

[(Anonymous)]

Well that would be silly of them, since that's understandable and also good in the sense that if the fantasy is detrimental, it has stopped.

[were_lemur]

Way to shame women for even thinking about being sexual. You are creepy and gross and should feel bad.

[(Anonymous)]

Dude, it was a DREAM. OP is supposed to hire someone to wake her regularly and interrogate her on whether she's having a dream you find oppressive?

OP, you had an enjoyable dream. Don't sweat it.

[(Anonymous)]

No, that's impractical and we can't help what we dream about, anyway. The idea is to think about fantasies critically and try not to indulge them if it seems they come from a bad place and are strengthening negative attitudes.

[(Anonymous)]

I see. Give OP your cell number. She can call you every time she has a dream and you can tell her if she's allowed to have it.

And yeah, you've definitely proved the point the first commenter questioned-- the reason people keep putting "I fear the SJWs" in their secrets is because you never know what kind of horseshit people will try to shame someone for.

[(Anonymous)]

I have said a bunch of times in this thread that people can't help what they dream about. A fantasy someone is consciously indulging in isn't the same thing as a dream.

I can't believe I have to bring an extreme analogy into this, but it seems like it might be the only way to get the point across. Imagine if someone is having fantasies about brutally maiming other people. I think everybody has the thought they'd like to kill someone sometimes, when they're really upset. And lots of people have intrusive thoughts. But when someone takes the thought of killing, thinks about it constantly, and has involved fantasies about doing it and maiming the victims, we'll usually say, okay, maybe this person should get some help for that. And we say that because we know that a fixation like that can wind up leading to someone actually doing something awful.

Having this kind of fantasy isn't the same as having a killing fantasy, of course. But sometimes there's an underlying reason for someone having a fantasy, and sometimes having a fantasy can cause someone to act in detrimental ways, either to themselves or others. For example, there are some men who get so fixated on porn that they stop being able to get any pleasure from regular sex.

[(Anonymous)]

Actually, trying to draw a parallel between OP's harmless dream and serious fantasies of vicious murder makes you sound like a complete fucking lunatic who takes your responsibility to police other people's thoughts way too goddamn seriously. And also like someone who can't tell the difference between oppression and your desire to consider yourself better than someone else. This is either committed trolling or you need to get a grip.

OP had an enjoyable dream. No one was oppressed by the contents. No one is being oppressed by the contents of OP's head. You really need to stop pretending you're the only world's authority on what people should be permitted to think.

[(Anonymous)]

I don't think I'm better than anyone else, I am not perfect or free from harmful attitudes. I never said I was.

And I feel like everything I am saying is being purposely misread to make it seem worse than it is, and you keep focusing on the dream aspect even though I keep saying that no one can help having a dream. The dream doesn't matter. The whole idea is that fantasies should be looked at critically. No, simply having a thought or a fantasy doesn't oppress anyone, but fixating on a fantasy that revolves around detrimental attitudes can strengthen them. This is a real thing that we can see happen and that's been recorded.

[(Anonymous)]

Fixating on the fantasy that you know what other people are allowed to think and should be allowed to police that can definitely lead to detrimental attitudes. One of them is called fascism. You should maybe stop and think about the worrying tendencies you are showing.

[(Anonymous)]

I get what you're saying, even if no one else isn't. This kind of fan entitlement is why celebs are pressured to stay in the closet.

[(Anonymous)]

sorry, even if no one else IS.