fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #2952 ]

[ SECRET POST #2952 ]

⌈ Secret Post #2952 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

01.

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02.

[Tales of Zestiria]

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03.

[Strange Magic]

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04.

[Sleepy Hollow]

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05.

[Star Trek: TNG]

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06.

[Person of Interest]

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07.

(Dangan Ronpa)

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08.

(Splash, Daryl Hannah)

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09.

[Once Upon a Time]

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10.

[VH1's Hindsight]

Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 044 secrets from Secret Submission Post #422.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

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So I dunno who here has played the Tomb Raider reboot. I think I remember a couple users talking about it, but eh.

A lot of people read the relationship between Lara and the character Samantha as being romantic. I'm one of them, honestly, definitely ship the crap out of it. I came across some people in the fandom today who were saying that they hope, in the next game, Lara is revealed to be a lesbian. Okay, that would be cool. But then...then someone went and said, "or just make her bi, then everyone's happy," as if bisexuality is just the Compromise Option and not a legitimate orientation that someone could have.

And then someone replied to that saying they're sick of how LGBT people are treated, so she shouldn't be bisexual. She needs to be a lesbian.

Okay. Um. That "B" in LGBT? It supposed to stand for "bisexual." And this just shows once again how we get shit from both sides. We're not taken seriously, we're not considered legitimate, gay and straight people both think we're confused or trying to play both sides, and we're not as good as fully straight or fully gay people. And bisexual characters aren't as good as fully straight or fully gay characters, either.

And I know I'm making a bigger deal out of this than I probably should, but it just really, really touched a nerve. I hide my bisexuality until I get to know someone really well, because lesbians think I'm a fraud and straight men think I'm a slut. And to have people in my fandom say that making Lara bisexual would just be a way to try to make everyone happy or an affront to lesbians makes it feel like, once again, I've found a place where I probably shouldn't be open.

Yeah, I know how you feel. It's fucking stupid and annoying as hell.

I wish people actually respected bisexuality but especially online, it seems like the people who are most vocal in their support of bisexuality are just repping it to prop up the plausibility of their non-canon pairings.

Yeah, that definitely seems to be the case. Bisexuality is a convenience to them instead of an actual orientation. And seeing that gets really, really frustrating after awhile.

DA:

Damn, I'm actually happy when people mention bisexuality as a shipping solution. That's better than most talk about it and what I see the most is people getting a character with straight canon and then writing them as having this one gay exception. Why not bi, writers? I wish more people wrote characters as bi in fandom.

That's a good point. I think it depends on how it's handled. I've seen a lot of people who treat bi as just being the Compromise Option that I saw today, which is the thing that's frustrating. To me, that's different from what it sounds like you're talking about, which is writing a character as bi in a way that treats it as legitimate.

Re: I gotta rant a little

(Anonymous) - 2015-02-03 01:19 (UTC) - Expand

Re: I gotta rant a little

(Anonymous) - 2015-02-03 01:22 (UTC) - Expand

Re: I gotta rant a little

lb_lee - 2015-02-03 01:44 (UTC) - Expand

Re: I gotta rant a little

(Anonymous) - 2015-02-03 01:54 (UTC) - Expand

This took a while for me to compile...

lb_lee - 2015-02-03 02:06 (UTC) - Expand

Re: This took a while for me to compile...

(Anonymous) - 2015-02-03 02:34 (UTC) - Expand

Re: This took a while for me to compile...

lb_lee - 2015-02-03 02:44 (UTC) - Expand

God, that pisses me off, too.

Not so much the mention that bisexuality can be an option, too, but when people start hardcore arguing that such-and-such character MUST be bisexual, if you think otherwise you're homophobic, it's TOTALLY CANON YOU GUISE! And then act like they're fighting some noble fight, when in reality all they give a shit about is their slash shipping.

And this has nothing to do with Supernatural at all. Nope.

And this has nothing to do with Supernatural at all. Nope.

LOL. That's pretty much what I'm talking about, yeah.

I also hate the "they must be bi" argument because people who are exclusively gay or straight can have a history of dating or sleeping with people of multiple sexes too. Experimentation and the closet are things. Unless someone states their orientation outright, it's never as simple as "they _____, they must be _____!".

That is an excellent point!

Re: I gotta rant a little

(Anonymous) - 2015-02-03 01:53 (UTC) - Expand

Re: I gotta rant a little

sarillia - 2015-02-03 01:58 (UTC) - Expand

Re: I gotta rant a little

(Anonymous) - 2015-02-03 02:18 (UTC) - Expand

Re: I gotta rant a little

chrys - 2015-02-03 01:53 (UTC) - Expand

Re: I gotta rant a little

sarillia - 2015-02-03 01:59 (UTC) - Expand

Re: I gotta rant a little

herpymcderp - 2015-02-03 06:21 (UTC) - Expand

Re: I gotta rant a little

chrys - 2015-02-03 07:37 (UTC) - Expand

This, so much.

I used to have a great quote saved somewhere (I have a vague memory that it was Alan Cummings) that went something like, "I wish people would stop thinking of bisexuality as something you do when all the gay people are busy."

That's a really great quote! I'll have to remember that.

I'll never understand straight people who think bisexuals are sluts. It just seems like a non-sequitur to me.

It seems like there's this idea that a bisexual person can't be satisfied just having one or the other, like we'll always be missing something. So, the idea is that we're less likely to be able to be monogamous, since a single person will never be able to give us everything we need, and we're more likely to sleep around, because we have to sleep with twice as many people to get the same satisfaction someone else would get.

No, it doesn't actually make any sense when you think about it for more than five seconds. And I honestly think the people who are more likely to think in those terms are also more likely to cheat themselves, since they can't seem to imagine being attracted to someone without doing something with them.

That second paragraph is gold. You're so right, though.

Why the assumption that if you're attracted to someone, you MUST do stuff with them because you can't control your own impulses? Says a lot more about the person saying that than it does about bisexual people, tbh.

I think it's actually kind of similar to straight people who act like gay people are attracted to every member of the same sex.

Don't worry. I apparently just haven't come to terms with the fact that I'm gay yet, according to men and women.

Unless they don't know I'm bisexual, then they just assume straight. HURRRR.

You know, that seems to be kinda common. Like, bisexual men are seen as not wanting to admit they're gay, and bisexual women are sluts or they're just "experimenting."

I guess the D is just more powerful than the V. If you like guys at all, that MUST be your "real" preference. Ugh.

Well, I mean, being a faggot is the worst thing in the world, so if I was actually into girls I would never admit to it amirite.

See, shit like this is why I write pretty much all of my same-sex couples with at least ONE bi person there. Most of my friends are bi, my husband's bi, and yet people act like they are sparkly unicorn people from planet Neptune. Unless I've somehow magically just blundered into Land of the Bis or something, I'm making my writing reflect the people and reality I see around me.

Plus my husband gets sad when bi erasure happens, and so I'd like to write things that make him happy.

--Rogan

I think that bisexuality is far more common than statistics infer and that were same-sex attraction more socially accepted, people would be comfortable enough to come out about it or to play with it.

Yeah. Kinsey has his problems, but still, back in the 50s, something like half the guys he interviewed had at least one same-sex experience. So I really don't believe bi folks are as rare as some folks seem to think.

My husband for instance, is into women something like 90% of the time. I just happened to be one of his 10%. If I hadn't thrown a queer wrench in the works, he probably would've continued IDing straight, not realizing he could be bi and still mostly like girls.

--Rogan

Re: I gotta rant a little

(Anonymous) - 2015-02-03 02:13 (UTC) - Expand

A lot of people in the LGBT community are really not supportive of the B or the T, sometimes you even get issues with the L not being supported and it just feels like the "G" community.

So yeah, I am sadly not surprised you got this opinion back. Discussions about bisexuality in fiction almost always turn messy and it comes from both the straight and the gay side.

I found this BuzzFeed article just now that I thought might be relevant to your interests:

http://www.buzzfeed.com/ashleyford/32-bisexual-women-discuss-their-longterm-relationships-with#.oxvWqq1EW

Omg, the first story in that article. Many years ago I had to fill out a medical form including my orientation and number of sexual partners in the last year, so there it went, bisexual and 2. The nurse asked me "one of each then?" Why would you assume that?

But years later my mom asked me if being bi meant I had to date a guy and a woman at the same time, so yeah.

Thank you for sharing that. It was a great read, if a depressing one. I definitely heavily relate to a few of those stories.

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