[ SECRET POST #2953 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2953 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 034 secrets from Secret Submission Post #422.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

Anthony Bourdain's graphic description

[purpleseas]

"The flames in the cocottes burn down, and the Ortolans are distributed, one to each guest. Everyone at this table knows what to do and how to do it. We wait for the sizzling flesh and fat before us to quiet down a bit. We exchange glances and grins and then, simultaneously, we place our napkins over our heads, hiding our faces from God, and with burning fingertips lift our birds gingerly by their hot skulls, placing them feet-first into our mouths – only their heads and beaks protruding.
In the darkness under my shroud, I realize that in my eagerness to fully enjoy the experience, I’ve closed my eyes. First comes the skin and the fat. It’s hot. So hot that I’m drawing short, panicky, circular breaths in and out – like a high-speed trumpet player, breathing around the Ortolan, shifting it gingerly around my mouth with my tongue so I don’t burn myself. I listen for the sounds of jaws against bone around me but hear only others breathing, the muffled hiss of rapidly moving air through teeth under a dozen linen napkins. There’s a vestigial flavor of Armagnac, low-hanging fumes of airborne fat particles, an intoxicating delicious miasma. Time goes by. Seconds? Moments? I don’t know. I hear the first snap of tiny bones from somewhere near and decide to brave it. I bring my molars down and through my bird’s rib cage with a wet crunch and am rewarded with a scalding hot rush of burning fat and guts down my throat. Rarely have pain and delight combined so well. I’m giddily uncomfortable, breathing in short, controlled gasps as I continue slowly – ever so slowly – to chew. With every bite, as the thin bones and layers of fat, meat, skin, and organs compact in on themselves, there are sublime dribbles of varied and wondrous ancient flavors: figs, Armagnac, dark flesh slightly infused with the salty taste of my own blood as my mouth is pricked by the sharp bones. As I swallow, I draw in the head and beak, which, until now, have been hanging from my lips, and blithely crush the skull."

Re: Anthony Bourdain's graphic description

[(Anonymous)]

God, that is so creepy. *shudders*

Re: Anthony Bourdain's graphic description

[feotakahari]

It's like he's trying to play up how macabre it is, in order to make it so over-the-top that it's not macabre anymore, only he's not going quite far enough, so it's just macabre.

Re: Anthony Bourdain's graphic description

[purpleseas]

It sounds like a weird-ass cult initiation to me. Not even a dangerous cult, just a kewl satanist Saturday night, lol.

Re: Anthony Bourdain's graphic description

[(Anonymous)]

Whatever, he's eating half-digested bird shit.

Re: Anthony Bourdain's graphic description

[purpleseas]

Hahahaha yes.

Re: Anthony Bourdain's graphic description

[(Anonymous)]

We all are, to be fair. If you know anything at all about food safety and handling in any country, you'd know that despite what companies would like you to believe, it's a highly unsanitary process. If you've ever eaten anything at a restaurant or packaged in a factory, you've eaten rodent droppings.

Re: Anthony Bourdain's graphic description

[(Anonymous)]

Not on purpose. Like, that's literally a requirement of the dish-- the bird must gorge. It's fat because it is full of half-digested food.

Re: Anthony Bourdain's graphic description

[(Anonymous)]

Unless an animal was starved before it was killed, any animal you eat is gonna have some half-digested food in it.

So...I guess you should stick to veal?

Re: Anthony Bourdain's graphic description

[(Anonymous)]

No, because you're not eating the entrails?

Re: Anthony Bourdain's graphic description

[(Anonymous)]

Do you really think that eating intact entrails full of half-digested food is comparable to eating the meat of an animal that had food in its system when it was slaughtered? Most people don't eat animal intestines, and people who do eat them usually rinse them out before cooking them to avoid eating the half-digested food and poop. In the case of ortolan, the poop is supposed to add to the deliciousness.

I'd wager that most people would see a big difference between unintentional poop consumption and purposefully, enthusiastically eating poop.

Re: Anthony Bourdain's graphic description

[fishnchips]

So first you scald your mouth, then you get high on fumes and then you cut your mouth open.

How fucking stupid can a person be?

Re: Anthony Bourdain's graphic description

[(Anonymous)]

To be honest, I'd do that and possibly more in the name of an amazing meal.

~You can tell me when it's over if the high was worth the pain~

Re: Anthony Bourdain's graphic description

[fishnchips]

Why people have this insane fetish for food I will never understand.

Re: Anthony Bourdain's graphic description

[(Anonymous)]

I agree.

There are a million gourmet foods out there that don't require this kind of idiocy and animal cruelty.

Re: Anthony Bourdain's graphic description

[(Anonymous)]

ilu anon