fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #2960 ]

[ SECRET POST #2960 ]

⌈ Secret Post #2960 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Better early than late!

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 034 secrets from Secret Submission Post #423.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

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Part 1 and Part 2

The roundtable is okay but then the comments...

Oh dear god why did I read the comments. Why? The ones about the concerns about dating bisexual people being legit. I really want to punch those people. Seriously. The conflating bisexuality with poly really, really needs to stop.

What got to me most were the "well, why don't you just stay with your own kind and leave real lesbians alone?" comments. Like before reading these I was planning on just going to a gay bar or something to meet women. But now I'm terrified that any lesbian I might meet there will be angry at me for making her think I'm a lesbian too when I'm actual bisexual.

Right. Ugh. Because people totally choose who they are attracted to. And people attracted to both genders are attracted to everyone of both genders and can totally pick from everyone when choosing a partner. So many nos.

And what gets me is the way men who are okay with bisexual woman are made out to be the good guys. In some ways they scare me more personally because I always expect to be fetishized by straight men. Sure they're okay with a bi woman. Then they'll ask for a threesome and make it all about two hot girls being together to turn them on.

I'm attracted to who I'm attracted to. Whether that person is male or female, straight gay or bi, I'm attracted to them. Not every single person in the world. And if I want to be in a poly relationship that is a completely separate issue from my bisexuality.

Basically, you really can't win.

Hmm, reading the article and your comment, I guess I've been very lucky. None of my straight male friends or dates have ever reacted like that to my bisexuality. The one time I had a threesome with a guy and a (bi) girl it was the girl's idea... I did have a group of random guys in the street invite themselves when they saw me with a woman, but that was after she had tried to say we were lesbians to get them to leave us alone.

I've had men only express interest in me when they find out I'm bisexual. Like it was clear they were thinking I'm not hot enough on my own, but with another girl involved I'm suddenly worthy of their attention.

I like the idea of threesomes, but I think I'd probably only ever participate in one with two guys because I'd be too nervous that with two women the guy would make it all about him. I'm not somebody's fetish.

But I think part of it for me is that I've only recently realized that I'm bi and also because I really don't at all fit society's beauty standards, so I have self confidence issues and kind of a lack of people interested in me anyway. So this is kind of new for me and I'm kind of gun shy anyway.

Ugh, that sucks. To be clear, I wasn't doubting your experiences - I was just saying I've had good ones. I'm pretty sure what you're saying is pretty common and I just happen to hang out with open-minded guys who know many queer people.

I hope things get better for you both in the confidence department and getting more comfortable with your bisexuality *hugs*

You know what totally needs to be a thing? All-Girl Threesomes. No pervy male gaze allowed. *nods*

Wait, it's not a thing? Since when?

That's definitely a thing.

Never listen to anyone in a comments section, on anything, ever. Keep in mind how pathetic their lives must be for them to whine their bullshit insecurities at a comments section just desperately hoping for some other sad individual to affirm them.

I'm a lesbian married to a bisexual woman: the thought to be suspicious of her never even occurred to me, and while I realize that anecdotal evidence doesn't really "count", I've honestly never met a lesbian in real life that hated bisexuals. It's probably just one of those loud vocal minority things. So get your butt out to that gay bar and meet some ladies! ♥

>Never listen to anyone in a comments section, on anything, ever.

...She said, in a comments section. ;)

ayrt

...Ahahaha, the irony totally went right over my head, whoops.

Really late I know, but I just wanted to tell you that your comment really moved me. I figured that they're probably the minority but it's really good to get a reassurance from somebody else. Thank you so much. <3

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[ SECRET POST #2960 ]

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