[ SECRET POST #2963 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2963 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

01.


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03. http://i.imgur.com/wuz6aW0.jpg
[Underbelly: Razor, linked for (live action) sex/partial nudity]

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04.


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06. http://i.imgur.com/5jIgSLi.gifv
[Jurassic World / Guardians of the Galaxy, animated gif]


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07.
[Steven Universe]


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08. [ SPOILERS for Durarara!! Light Novels ]



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09. [ SPOILERS for Pokemon Mystery Dungeon: Explorers of Time/Darkness ]



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10. [ SPOILERS for Naruto ]



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11. [ WARNING for non-con ]

[Banshee]


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12. [ WARNING for abuse ]



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13. [ WARNING for rape ]







Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 00 pages, 000 secrets from Secret Submission Post #423.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 1 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[fscom]

12. [ WARNING for abuse ]
http://i.imgur.com/7idOWDQ.jpg?2

[elaminator]

Yea...I can get behind relationships with characters that banter and argue, but I rarely ship people who seem to actually hate each other. It just isn't for me.

Some people do like fucked up or complex relationships (I do sometimes; Hannibal/Will is a perfect example of this) but it is refreshing to see a married couple who treat each other with genuine kindness and affection. Peter and Elizabeth Burke (White Collar) are one of the best examples of a happy, healthy married couple that I've ever seen.

Your mom's response makes me sad. I guess the only thing you can do is be there for her when she needs you and support her. It sounds like she might benefit from a separation, but some people won't leave.

[(Anonymous)]

Peter and Elizabeth are great.

[elaminator]

Peter and Elizabeth are precious. Watching them always filled me with delight.

[sarillia]

I am so ambivalent about that song because I like the way it sounds but I hate the lyrics because I agree with you about this whole idea. I can get behind all kinds of ships, including the ones where the characters have a love/hate thing going, but when people act like that's a healthy relationship in most cases, that's when they lose me.

Also, my friend who introduced me to this song did so by saying how she loved the lyrics and sounding like your mom, and I was so confused because her relationship with her boyfriend seems nothing like that. I don't know why anyone would want to stay with someone who makes them that angry all the time, but she certainly doesn't seem like she would.

[jazmin-firewing.livejournal.com]

I never got the impression from the song that she thinks the relationship is healthy. I always hear it more as "I know this is bad for both of us, but I don't know how to stop it".

[sarillia]

But the chorus is basically "you make me so angry that it must be true love"

[(Anonymous)]

Whereas I would interpret the chorus as "If I didn't love you, this wouldn't hurt so bad," and still wouldn't say that she thinks the relationship is healthy. P!nk's the master of self-deprecating songs about fucked up relationships. They tend to resonate with people who have been in fucked up relationships themselves, and piss off the self-righteous because they think she's making fun of abuse.

[lb_lee]

Yeah, I enjoy writing a (platonic) relationship kind of like this, but the whole point of it is that it's NOT healthy, it's NOT okay, and the only reason the two of them do it is because they can not handle healthy interaction.

I would never, EVER want someone to think that they're something to ASPIRE to.

--Rogan

[(Anonymous)]

Off-topic, but this is driving me crazy: why do you sign all your posts???????

[(Anonymous)]

Their profile might clear this up.

[lb_lee]

I swear to god, I need to find SOME WAY to glue this to my digital forehead, because this is like the fourth time I've gotten this question. (Not your fault, it's kinda the nature of F!S.) Maybe I'll just write it in our goddamn profile or something.

DID. Multiple personality. Made a 101 post about it here a while back. We switch often enough that for ease of the people around us, we try to tag our comments. (Different ones of us are into different fandoms, that kind of thing.) It's that or get multiple accounts, and we switch fast enough that that would be an even bigger pain.

[purpleseas]

Yeah, a person's idea of what's realistic in a romantic relationship can give you some really uncomfortable insight into their lives. It's amazing what some people will settle for, then turn around and tout as real and true and so totally worthwhile to others. I have married family members who are always sharing these posts on Facebook from both secular and fundamentalist Christian sources about how marriage is insanely difficult but so inherently good and important that it must never end, like this one woman's story about how her husband cheated and she retaliated by being angry for a while but then deciding to fall even more in love with him, and now every day is a glorious battle to preserve the relationship and she goes to bed exhausted. Just from being married. LOLOL lady, that's not impressive, it's just sad. Good relationships aren't perfect, but they're not WWII every day, either. The fundamentalist posts are more cavalier about marriage in predictable ways (marry the first person you fall in love with as soon as you're legal and have babies immediately regardless of your financial situation, it'll be fine!), but both sources pin most of the responsibility for making it work on the woman, which is something I've seen way too much of with people I know. So I'm not a big believer in it and can't even stand to live with a partner, but I write big OTP-style totally-meant-to-be romance anyway. Better my characters get married than me, lol.

[a_potato]

That sort of thing drives me bonkers.

Here's the thing: when you get married, you take vows. Those vows include staying faithful (and YMMV on that point, of course. Fidelity means different things to different people. The important thing is that both halves of a couple are on the same page when it comes to it). If someone breaking those vows doesn't trigger any consequences (e.g. isn't grounds for divorce); if you have to stick it out no matter what the other person does to you, then those vows are completely meaningless, and the marriage itself is therefore meaningless! It's an exercise in self-flagellation and martyrdom, and nothing more.

I sincerely believe that those who hold the views you describe respect marriage less than those who acknowledge that some marriages are not worth saving.

[(Anonymous)]

Lawd I can't STAND that attitude.

If someone's treating you like crap and cheating on you, they're not worth it. They're not worth saving. And if their actions don't have consequences, then you're basically telling them they can do whatever they want, they can cheat, they can lie and treat you like shit.

Ironically, that's actually degrading the institution of marriage.

[(Anonymous)]

I empathize completely, OP. One reason I just can't tolerate abusive and unhealthy relationships portrayed as romantic and wonderful and idealized is exactly the same -- I know my dad emotionally and psychologically abuses my mom, and has been doing so for a very long time. It's not cute, or edgy, or hot, it's fucking horrible, and the effects of it ripple out to damage everyone involved.

I get that everyone's entitled to their kinks but seeing people squeeing over the exact behaviors I cry myself to sleep over every day, terrified and hopeless, makes me sick.

If I ever write abusive relationships, then it's made very clear that this is fucked up and there's nothing romantic about it, and it's most definitely nothing to aspire to. Or, if the characters work through it, then they truly work through it, and no excuses are made for the abusive behaviors.

[(Anonymous)]

Same, OP. And the amount of people who seem to think those relationships are not only normal but also desirable are almost enough to turn one off romance enterily.

[(Anonymous)]

And the award for most unreadable secret goes to...

[nightscale]

To me there's a huge difference between playful bickering and genuine insults and honestly I feel like a lot of writers suck at distinguishing between them, or just don't care to.

People aren't perfect no, but I wish more fictional relationships realised that without them coming off as 100% destructive and unhappy.

And it's fine to write about unhealthy or fucked up relationships if that's what you want(lord knows I enjoy my share of messed up ships), but trying to make it come off as super-romantic and ideal will always bother me.

[(Anonymous)]

I know what you mean, OP.

My mom's been married three times, and all three relationships were... Not great... And she's already arguing with her new boyfriend.

Seeing their toxic "arguing about something different every day" attitude reflected on almost every TV show doesn't give me much hope for my future relationships, or relationships in general.

Like, I understand people argue, there's no avoiding that, but having screaming fits because one got take out without telling the other they didn't have to make dinner for them? That's not healthy.

[othellia]

One of my parent's relationships is like that, which I think soured me on a lot of things and potential boyfriends growing up. But then my other parent has been in a really good relationship for over a decade now, so that gives me hope.

[herpymcderp]

Well... I'm pretty sure the reality is that a lot of people stick with bad relationships just because they've been in them for a long time.

Secretly hating my partner sure doesn't describe my relationship, and it's definitely been... well, decades now. Sure, I get annoyed and frustrated at points (and vice versa) but we find a way to work it out or drop it. And I couldn't imagine life without her.

The other part of reality is those relationships are dramatic, and people like drama.

[(Anonymous)]

I agree so much and understand so much. My dad constantly insults my mother's intelligence. I can't stand it. I don't think my mom's pretending she's happy though, she's just too set in her ways to change her whole life now.

Transcript

[(Anonymous)]

Image: an artistic quote thing of the text:

"Sometimes I hate every single stupid word you say,
Sometimes I wanna slap you in your whole face.
There’s no one quite like you, you push all my buttons down,
I know life would suck without you.

At the same time I wanna hug you, I wanna wrap my hands around your neck. You’re an asshole but I love you, and you make me so mad I ask myself
why I’m still here, or where could I go?"

P!NK

Secret text: I always get uncomfortable when I see “constantly fighting, belittling each other and not even enjoying each other’s presence” relationships seen as the expectation for realistic long-term relationships and married life.

Can’t people write realistic and healthy romantic relationships?

Not that I think there should be a thousand more unrealistic “we never fight each other and we’re soulmates and we see no flaw in each other” romances.

This could also be because whenever I see relationships like “don’t actually like each other but have been married for decades” with my mother she talks about how they’re “so truthful.”

My dad treats her like crap and I think he might be emotionally abusing her to some degree.

[otakugal15]

Oh, you mean the majority of Ron and Hermione's relationship? It was especially ROMANTIC when Hermione would run off in tears!!