[ SECRET POST #2979 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2979 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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16. [repeat]













Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 04 pages, 091 secrets from Secret Submission Post #426.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[fscom]

07. http://i.imgur.com/Iygtxzs.jpg?1

[(Anonymous)]

I don't know what exactly happened, but I will say sometimes I think more benefit of the doubt is needed.

[(Anonymous)]

"Come at me", well since you asked. Grow the fuck up, or piss the fuck off. There, ya happy now?

[(Anonymous)]

I can't help but suspect the OP invited this response so they could despise us all for being assholes if we took them up on it. Sort of a back-up plan to dismiss people's opinions ("Why should I care what they think, they're clearly just trolling assholes!") if the secret failed to elicit comforting pats on the head.

[feotakahari]

NGL, I can see exactly where they're coming from. Anger is your best refuge when you've gotten the living crap bashed out of you and you know you're being irrational for feeling like you deserve it.

[(Anonymous)]

All right then, you gaping dickhole.

[dethtoll]

Well, *I* like you, nonny.

[feotakahari]

I wouldn't be too worried. This place is called Fandom Secrets, after all. If you anonymously posted something that would have gotten your head bitten off un-anon, you're arguably using the site for its intended purpose.

[dreemyweird]

That's a good way of looking at it!

[diet_poison]

Yep.

[(Anonymous)]

This.

[dreemyweird]

D'awww, OP! You sound nice. People are generally quick to judge, especially on anonymous sites, and your wording might've been a little awkward - that often provokes shitstorms. I remember I was a little hurt, too, when a couple of my secrets got ridiculed. But you do get over it :D And yes, growing a thicker skin is rarely a bad thing on the Internet.

[(Anonymous)]

I feel the same. But it's weirdly freeing that you can dogpiled as OP and shake it off without consequence.

[skeletal_history]

On the other hand, I've been posting here and contributing secrets for about seven years and I've never gotten any major blowback from any of my secrets. And that makes me think, what am *I* doing wrong that my secrets are so bland?

We don't get a lot of genuine "obvious why this is a secret" secrets around here nowadays, so good on you for putting yourself out there and letting us see your vulnerabilities. Keep it up!

+1

[elaminator]

(Though I know my secrets are mostly safe and non-confrontational because I don't tend to have a lot of wildly divisive opinions in the first place.)

As long as we get secrets I don't care if they're 'barely secrets' or deep, dark ones because I'm happy the comm still has activity, but there is something refreshing about those "obviously this is a secret" secrets, haha.

And hey, sometimes we overreact or misunderstand, that's life. If that's the case I'm sorry OP, but anytime you share something personal that's a possibility. I wouldn't worry too much about it; I feel like most people here forget secrets quickly and move on.

I hope the comm is therapeutic for you, though; if you ever stop getting something out of it you can quit.

[(Anonymous)]

Well, some of us are "truscum," and icey's a Republican, so yeah. ;)

No, seriously, we can be jerks, but it's OK. People disagree.

[(Anonymous)]

OP, I can only guess you didn't lurk much before posting here then? I can't help but think if you'd lurked here even a week or two and read half the responses some secrets get, you would have realised that it's not all puppies and rainbows.

When I posted my first secret I fully expected to be flamed to hell, and it was a pleasant surprise when I got mostly (though not entirely) sympathetic responses. Not that everything has always gone so smoothly: of all the secrets I've posted here (about 20 to date), the one with the highest response was almost entirely people piling on to tell me I was arrogant, ignorant, and a couple even suggesting I had mental problems that I should seek medical help for. (I honestly thought what I'd written was pretty innocuous, so I really wasn't expecting that kind of reaction. However I was mostly annoyed at how I felt most people missed the point of the secret - which was at least partly on me for not making myself clear enough, I guess.)

If you aren't sure you can handle an extreme response, don't post. Don't post the things that make you feel vulnerable. Even if you think you need to toughen yourself up, trial by fire is not necessarily the best way to do it. Perhaps post some secrets that aren't so deeply personal, that won't trouble you deeply if people give scornful responses. Gradually get to know better what kinds of things will upset you, and maybe learn to differentiate between people who are flinging shit for the sake of trolling, and those who are expressing genuine sentiment. Ease yourself into it.

Transcript

[(Anonymous)]

Image: The banner image of fandom secrets

Text: I just started making and submitting secrets a few weeks ago. I thought it would be fun, and all my secrets have been true and, well, pretty vulnerable. I probably should have expected criticism, but I'm, um, really naïve. Really, really naïve.

On the other hand, now I get to use this to toughen up my irritatingly thin skin. Come at me, you magnificent assholes! Maybe I can finally learn how not to internalize random strangers' opinions of me.

[kallanda_lee]

I find I don't really get annoyed by strong reactions to mine, but it does annoy me when they get misinterpreted.

[(Anonymous)]

Not OP.

I don't mind misinterpretation if it's say, one or two people in an otherwise getting-the-point thread.

If, on the other hand, virtually everyone misinterprets something, then that's on me because obviously what I mean isn't what I've actually said.

If it's one misunderstanding then you chalk it down to differing opinions (or even trolling) but when it's several different people all reading it that way... yeah, the problem likely isn't with them.

[kallanda_lee]

But sometimes one or two can sot of "hijack" it, if you know what I mean?

[(Anonymous)]

Generally speaking, yeah. But sometimes an early commenter will leap to conclusions, and everyone will follow those conclusions (which were false, but painted a much more tantalizing picture than reality) rather than what has been written in the secret itself.

I've had that happen to me a time or two, when I wasn't able to be online at the time the secret was posted and go 'Nope, where did you get *that* idea from!?', and it was pretty annoying.

Sometimes it happens because I try to keep my secrets short. If I included every detail of what I'm writing about, they'd end up looking like the mess that is today's secret #16.

[(Anonymous)]

I'm sorry. That's rough. :-(

*hugs

[solticisekf]

Why so srs? FS has so many people that someone bound to hate on the things you say.

[(Anonymous)]

Good attitude, OP. I hope it works out for you. :)