fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #2980 ]

⌈ Secret Post #2980 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Lots of multiple secrets in one comment this week, throwing off the count!

Secrets Left to Post: 04 pages, 083 secrets from Secret Submission Post #426.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

I'm not a big fan of holding hands. Seriously, what if I need my hands for something, or I want to talk/gesture with my hands, or I want to type something on my phone?

I also don't get the point of "romantic" candies or chocolate. What's romantic us getting each other stuff we know we'll love, not a box of random chocolates in a heart-shaped box. Give me drugstore candy any day! :P

Flowers mean just about nothing to me. They're pretty and all, but so what? I want something I can "use" (eat, wear, actually use, etc.) The one time I got someone flowers, it was roses for my mom - and she immediately cut them up, using the petals in a recipe that required rose petals (fuck if I know how that worked) and using the stems and leaves to feed some pet bugs she had at the time. I was quite happy about it because yay, two uses for my one gift, that means was an awesome gift, I'm so glad! But when I tell that story to most people, they tend to get rather indignant on my behalf that she actually enjoyed and made use of those flowers instead of just shoving them into a vase to slowly wither away. *eyeroll*

I will NEVER understand how public proposals without prior discussion of marriage is romantic. Marriage a life-changing decision and you want your partner to make a choice in front of witnesses that will probably judge or belittle them if they make the wrong choice? How the fuck is that romantic? It's one thing if you two were talking about marriage beforehand, and you already agreed on it and know for sure you and your partner want to get married - then I get why a public proposal could be sweet or romantic. But just springing it on someone? That sounds like a recipe for disaster - if your partner doesn't want to marry you, then either they reject you in front of witnesses, or they initially accept because of said witnesses, then reject you in private, making it worse because you were so happy in the first place.

Public proposals always trigger my second hand embarrassment squick so hard.

Humiliation and embarrassment are pretty much the only things that squick me out enough to have trouble watching something, and the more public it is, the worse the squick is.

Seconding all of this, especially the last one. Like you said, public proposals can be romantic if the couple in question have discussed marriage and the proposer knows for a fact that their SO would appreciate a public proposal (my cousin was recently proposed to in a public place and she absolutely loved it, but she also already discussed marriage with her now-fiance and had been dropping some very unsubtle hints about how cute she thought public proposals were, so he pretty much knew it was a sure thing) but that kind of thing can go so fucking wrong. I think it especially horrifies me because I had a friend a few years back get proposed to in a restaurant and she was absolutely mortified because she and said guy had been dating for three months and she was already on the verge of breaking up with him. He was...an intense kind of guy.

Oh my god, your poor friend. What did she do?

She's a very shy woman, felt a lot of pressure because there were people watching and she "didn't want to cause a scene" by saying no and storming out of there, so she said yes and then broke up with him the next day saying that she made a mistake and that their relationship was moving too quickly. The guy then dragged her through the mud on his facebook page and irl; it was pretty ugly (real piece of work, that guy). The whole thing really upset her and still does even though it happened years ago. Luckily though, she has since found a non-crazy person to settle down with

Holy shit. I'm glad she got away from that guy, at least.

You...let go? And do your gesturing? Then when you are done, reach for their hand again? It's not like it has to be a CONSTANT thing.

But I would be constantly grabbing, letting go, grabbing, letting go, grabbing, letting go...easier to just leave my hands free.

Yeah, agreed, I'm not huge on hand holding myself.

Ugh, definitely NO to big dramatic PDAs and being put on the spot publicly.

If anyone pulled something like that on me, be it in a romantic context or just friends/family, then all it proves is that even though you're claiming you're making that gesture to show how much you care about me, you either don't know me at all or you don't respect who I am.

If you cared about me, you'd know that something like that would make me mindblowingly uncomfortable to the point of a panic attack, and if you either didn't know or didn't care, well... hardly romantic.

[ SECRET POST #2980 ]

Re: Romantic gestures you hate

Re: Romantic gestures you hate

Re: Romantic gestures you hate

Re: Romantic gestures you hate

Re: Romantic gestures you hate

Re: Romantic gestures you hate

Re: Romantic gestures you hate

Re: Romantic gestures you hate

Re: Romantic gestures you hate

Re: Romantic gestures you hate

Re: Romantic gestures you hate