case: (Default)
Case ([personal profile] case) wrote in [community profile] fandomsecrets2015-03-09 06:54 pm

[ SECRET POST #2987 ]


⌈ Secret Post #2987 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 03 pages, 068 secrets from Secret Submission Post #427.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 1 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 1 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Re: so my friend's book is finally published

(Anonymous) 2015-03-10 03:48 am (UTC)(link)
Congrats to your friend! If I might venture a suggestion, as a person who browses a LOT of books but has limited time for reading, a punchier summary can make all the difference. Your friend's plot summary tends to speak in generalities, e.g. "This is a story about magic, cohabitation, loneliness...", "a supernatural world hidden from the eyes of modern civilization", "a lonely life that feels hollow, with a job she hates and a family she loves but can't quite figure out", "a hidden world of legends, supernatural beings and plenty of corruption, both literal and metaphorical" (that's twice the phrase "hidden world has been used, BTW), "Fantastic powers and reality-bending magic", etc. etc. Basically, this description is screaming "THIS BOOK IS AMAZING! AND VERY COOL! AND AMAZING!" without giving the reader any actual glimpse of what is so amazing. As a reader, I don't want to be told a book is awesome, I want to be shown why it is. The summary does a lot of hinting, but offers no juicy details. It could describe any number of urban fantasies, and your friend definitely does not want something so generic. When browsing, I want to know:

* Who's the protagonist and what's so special about them?
* What's this universe like? You can't show me everything in a short description, but give me a taste.
* What's the conflict? Some permutation of good vs. evil, obviously, but what?


Try this:

Karin Ashley's lonely life as a [her job here] is rudely interrupted by a late night break in at the office. Armed with nothing but a stapler and her wits, she's forced to confront a demon from the seventh circle of hell and a hidden world seething with corruption and forbidden arts. The magic sword she finds will come in handy, but the real question is: will she have to fight all the forces of the dark underworld alone?

That's not perfect and obviously I had to fudge the details because I haven't read your friend's book, but you get the idea.
dethtoll: (Default)

Re: so my friend's book is finally published

[personal profile] dethtoll 2015-03-10 04:03 am (UTC)(link)
I relayed your suggestions to her!

Re: so my friend's book is finally published

(Anonymous) 2015-03-10 05:05 am (UTC)(link)
I don't think a punchier summary would do much good unless the first chapters were made unavailable for preview.

Re: so my friend's book is finally published

(Anonymous) 2015-03-10 07:08 am (UTC)(link)
oh fuck off you useless twit