Case (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
case) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
fandomsecrets2015-03-10 07:09 pm
case) wrote in fandomsecrets2015-03-10 07:09 pm
[ SECRET POST #2988 ]
⌈ Secret Post #2988 ⌋
Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.
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Notes:
Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 050 secrets from Secret Submission Post #427.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 1 2 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.
Re: Embarrassing moments that haunt you years later...stories of bullying-related public humiliation
~~Story 1:
Three girls threw a salad on me in the quad in front of at least a fourth of the student body. Everyone was laughing. Nobody offered to help and I had to push through snickering kids to reach the office. I called my mom, but the school wasn't let me go home. So I had to have her bring a change of clothes and rinsed my hair out in the sink in the nurse's office. I smelled like salad dressing for the rest of the day. The girls who threw the salad wouldn't come forward(because I guess my word wasn't good enough proof -_-) and nothing was ever done about it.
~~Story 2:
The same three girls cornered me in the girls' restroom and rubbed their bloody tampons all over my skin. All over my face, my (tightly closed) mouth, my eyes, up my nose and all exposed flesh they could reach. They kept me cornered in the bathroom until the bell rang. I was late to class because I had to clean up every hint of blood and it took a long time. I then had to explain my tardiness out loud because the teacher refused to let me speak to him in private, so the entire class heard what happened and they thought it was hilarious. I lived in fear of having AIDS for years after that.
~~Story 3:
Those same three girls later dragged me into a restroom stall and tried to drown me in the toilet while calling me horrible names and saying nobody wanted me around. They might have succeeded if not for a teacher hearing their laughter and walking in to see what was going on. They pretended they were helping me because I was throwing up. (And I did, I vomited up the toilet water I inevitably swallowed while trying not to drown.) I just went with it to get away from those girls. I had to walk through school, which was thankfully mostly empty since it was third period, with wet toilet water hair. I could barely talk to call my mom. I claimed I was sick and throwing up and she came to get me. I tried to commit suicide that day because I thought nobody wanted me around and I didn't see any other way out of the misery. I'm glad it didn't succeed since I'm so much happier now. :)
~~Story 4:
The choir teacher at that school didn't like me because I wasn't one of the rich kids, so she set me up to fail a solo audition in front of many of my bullies. I had asked her repeatedly to help me make a practice tape for the song I wanted to audition with and I had no one else who could assist me. It wouldn't have taken five minutes. But she always stopped to talk to other kids who came up to her and the practice tape never materialized. I had to go in with one quick run-through right before the audition. It was horrible, I could see and hear everyone snickering and the teacher cut me off in the middle. She told me to go sit down without any sympathy or anything-- she was SMIRKING. I later had kids from choir class come up to me and say my singing voice was horrible and I should go kill myself for sucking so bad. I was the talk of the concert backstage; any time I walked by to use the restroom or get a drink, those kids would start up with how shitty I sound, I'm the reason their ears are bleeding, etc..
I almost quit singing forever, but I joined my church in 2001 and my mom encouraged me to join the choir. I'm glad I did. I've recently faced the stage fright caused by the audition incident. It's still very triggering and upsetting, but I stood up to the fear and sang a very small solo twice(once in 2013 and again in 2014). Thank God for a very understanding church choir director and a supportive choir. I really do love to sing and it would have sucked if I gave it up.
Re: Embarrassing moments that haunt you years later...stories of bullying-related public humiliation
(Anonymous) 2015-03-11 01:32 am (UTC)(link)Do you know what became of those girls? I hope they're in jail. That behavior isn't just bullying, it's attempted murder. (I mean, when I say that I don't mean I hope they actually did kill anyone, just... I hope they're not able to hurt anyone now. Or have since received counseling.)
Re: Embarrassing moments that haunt you years later...stories of bullying-related public humiliation
(Anonymous) 2015-03-11 01:45 am (UTC)(link)I don't know what happened to them. I hope they're better people than they were when they knew me, that's all I can say.
The school I went to was really awful about dealing with the incidents. I had a boy who threatened to rape and murder me every day and the counselor just said, "Oh, he's being a boy. Just ignore it. He probably has a crush on you." Meanwhile, I was terrified to be alone at night and went to sleep in fear until my family moved houses two years after graduation. I'm over that, too, because there was no way that kid knew where I lived, but at the time it was a real terrifying experience.
I think what made it worse was my dad asking me what I did to make these kids bully me. I existed, I was(still am) really short, very thin and have issues with age-appropriate behavior due to a neurodivergence. I looked younger than my actual age(still do) and couldn't fit into age appropriate clothing. I always looked like a grade-schooler. I was a literal magnet for shit in school no matter what I did to avoid it. But my dad made me believe I deserved it because I was made wrong.
I've recently found my self-worth and I'm working through all those scars. I'm a much different person than I was back then, and today I reach out to teenagers who are being bullied today. I talked a thirteen year old girl out of bullying-related suicide on Tumblr once. THIRTEEN!! I was sixteen when I tried it. I convinced her to seek help and she later thanked me.
Everything happens for a reason and my faith in God tells me He insisted I stay on Earth because I'm meant to help people going through what I went through.
Bullying is worse because of the internet. My bullying ended at mom's car door. Today, it continues into the home and it's not right. Something needs to be done about it. I just try to inject positivity where I can and hope that little crumb helps someone hold on.
Re: Embarrassing moments that haunt you years later...stories of bullying-related public humiliation
(Anonymous) 2015-03-11 09:15 pm (UTC)(link)"Just ignore it, he probably has a crush on you" is obnoxious when it's said about a boy who is pulling your hair or stealing your pencil because you chewed on it. "Just ignore it, he probably has a crush on you" in response to rape and murder threats? These people need to be stuck in the pillory for the populace to pelt with rotten vegetables and dog shit, with placards around their necks saying what they did, and then banned from ever being around children for the rest of their natural lives.
Re: Embarrassing moments that haunt you years later...stories of bullying-related public humiliation
(Anonymous) 2015-03-11 11:52 am (UTC)(link)I hope you have a good life now with lots of good people. It seems like you've been working on regaining ground, that's cool.