[ SECRET POST #2993 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2993 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 05 pages, 123 secrets from Secret Submission Post #428.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 1 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ], [ 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 - pretty sure these are all the same spammer anon trying to win the non-existent "weirdest fandomsecret/sex fantasy" award. There are more I missed, and some that went up yesterday. If one of these is not the same anon, please PM me ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

I wouldn't agree that extremists have usurped it.

It certainly has a terrible public image, but I think that it suffers from the same thing that Islam does -- the extremists get all the press. Where as the quiet, sane ones are actually going out and doing good works, living normal lives.

And thus its public image is ruined. But I don't think the answer to that is to throw feminism out. It's important to reclaim the word from extremists which is why I still call myself a feminist.

Feminists were also the first to recognize the destructiveness of gender roles, which is something that egalitarianism doesn't.

[(Anonymous)]

I don't think it is possible. Mostly because most feminists I see don't try to stop the extremists. they either ignore them or go, "Those aren't REAL feminists." as if that makes it any better.

[(Anonymous)]

I think your experience is limited because I have seen feminists push back against the extremists. Particularly TERFs, for example.

But the internet tends to magnify the most extreme positions unfortunately.

Regardless, I'm not just going to give up. It'd be like conceding Christianity because of the Westboro Baptist Church or the existence of fundamentalists.

[diet_poison]

What more are we supposed to do to "stop" them, other than calling them out?

At some point you have to recognize that every group has extremists and choose to not define the larger group that way. It's a recognizable pattern for every religion, political ideology, social movement, subculture, etc. etc. etc. with more than like 20 people that has ever existed.

[(Anonymous)]

I don't know. The same thing feminists expect men to do to stop other men from raping?

[(Anonymous)]

Men can help, though.

I remember talking to a psychologist who mentioned that laughing at rape jokes (something that both men and women do) promotes rape culture because, while the men laughing don't support rape in any form, it gives rapists the impression that (secretly) all men WOULD rape if they could get away with it. It makes it seem like that frame of mind is normal.

Calling out little things like that is something men can do because women often aren't taken as seriously.

[(Anonymous)]

No...no it doesn't. that is not how that kind of shit works. Do you really think that a rapist hears a joke and goes, AH HA! I knew rape wasn't bad. Even though literally EVERYTHING in my life says otherwise. This comedian made a joke AND I HAVE SEEN THE LIGHT!

[(Anonymous)]

no you big dummy because people are more complicated than that


but that doesn't mean it doesn't happen

[(Anonymous)]

Well I discussed this with a psychologist who said that things like that CONTRIBUTE to rape culture because, when repeated, it normalizes a rapists' behavior.

I know reddit had a thread a little while ago which was deleted -- it asked rapists to share their stories.

A psychologist also came in there and said that this was a bad idea because it gave rapists a platform and the possibility of finding support.

But I do think that someone who is willing to rape another human being might very well be interpreting people's responses to jokes differently than you or I.

So, yes, I do think it contributes. And I think men who call out rape jokes are doing good.

[(Anonymous)]

Well, contributing to rape culture would mean that the existence of a rape culture was an actual fact - which it isn't. It's a very much debated concept.

[diet_poison]

Now I kinda wish I could read that thread. It would be interesting to see what exactly drove people to do something like that (other than/more specific than the whole "getting off on power" thing).

[(Anonymous)]

It's discussed here: http://www.reddit.com/r/MuseumOfReddit/comments/1t1r2z/the_ask_a_rapist_thread/

But the thread was deleted.

[diet_poison]

damn.

that's creepy.

[(Anonymous)]

Oh and here's a thread by the psychologist telling reddit how dangerous the ask-a-rapist thread was:

http://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/xf5c2/reddit_are_you_aware_how_dangerous_the_askarapist/

[(Anonymous)]

"literally everything in my life says otherwise," on what planet are you living? yes, everyone is aware stranger-in-the-alley rape is BAD, but when things gets a little "grayer" and involve withdrawn consent, non-violent force, coercion, bribery, young teenagers, date rape, or any other kind of "muddy" area, the topic of rape is not treated with respect. and yes, hearing your frat buddies joke about running a train on the passed out girl in the bedroom and laughing it up with them over and over on this hilarious rape joke topic WILL desensitize them, and HAS desensitized society into thinking certain types of rape aren't all that bad or serious, or that the accused rapist's reputation is more important than the victim.

everybody yuks it up about rape and suddenly when that frat kid is alone with a passed out girl making a move on her doesn't seem that -serious- because after all, he's not a rapist in an alleyway, is he? he's not the bad kind, the kind you can't joke about. he's the kind that IS the joke. yes, joking about rape absolutely affects how society sees and treats rape and whether you want to believe in the specific terminology of "rape culture," something analogous to it clearly exists.

[diet_poison]

You mean...call out bad behavior?

Which is what I'm talking about? and what I see happen all the time?

[(Anonymous)]

You really went there. That is grossly offensive and a repellent equivalence.