case: (Default)
Case ([personal profile] case) wrote in [community profile] fandomsecrets2015-03-15 03:45 pm

[ SECRET POST #2993 ]


⌈ Secret Post #2993 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 05 pages, 123 secrets from Secret Submission Post #428.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 1 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ], [ 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 - pretty sure these are all the same spammer anon trying to win the non-existent "weirdest fandomsecret/sex fantasy" award. There are more I missed, and some that went up yesterday. If one of these is not the same anon, please PM me ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Re: "Toxic"

(Anonymous) 2015-03-15 09:46 pm (UTC)(link)
By the fullest sense of the word, what exactly do you mean? In terms of word... definition? Is there something specific about the word "toxic" that sets it apart from someone who is abusive or harmful or damaging whatever? Sorry if this is confusing, I hear the word a lot and I feel like I'm missing something everyone else understands

Re: "Toxic"

(Anonymous) 2015-03-15 09:51 pm (UTC)(link)
Different anon.

I think abusive people toxic, but not all toxic people are abusive. I'd say the main characteristic of a toxic person is that they're bad for your mental or physical wellness. For example, imagine someone who is extremely negative and sucks the joy out of every situation, to the point that every time you interact with them you end up feeling shitty and depressed. They're not abusive, but they're toxic in that they are bad for your mental health.

Re: "Toxic"

(Anonymous) 2015-03-15 09:53 pm (UTC)(link)
It seems unfair to call them toxic if they don't mean to do it... I can see how interacting with them might be toxic for the hypothetical person or "a toxic situation" but calling that person "a toxic person" overall if they're depressed and it's out of their control feels... not right

Re: "Toxic"

(Anonymous) 2015-03-15 10:02 pm (UTC)(link)
But even if they're depressed and it's out of their control, they're still hurting you. The whole point of the 'toxic people' thing, I think, is telling to the hyper-responsible people who tend to burden themselves with everyone's problem that it's okay to cut people who hurt you out of your life. It's telling them that no one's entitled to your time and your care.

It's telling them, 'you're mental health is not less important that other people's'

Same anon

(Anonymous) 2015-03-15 10:03 pm (UTC)(link)
*your, not you're. Dammit.

Re: "Toxic"

(Anonymous) 2015-03-15 11:00 pm (UTC)(link)
This makes me imagine sad little poisonous RPG slimes that nobody will be friends with because they're toxic, but they can't help it.
diet_poison: (Default)

Re: "Toxic"

[personal profile] diet_poison 2015-03-16 02:10 am (UTC)(link)
Toxic is more about how they're affecting the people around them than a judgment on their character.

I was a toxic person myself as a teenager, before addressing my mental health issues. I'm so glad I did because I know I hurt a lot of people around me, even with the best of intentions. And people continued to love me - but my relationships with a lot of people are better now that I am more self-aware and have sought treatment for my issues. It's kind of hard to admit now, but looking back I can see how I was emotionally draining to my family and closest friends.
dethtoll: (Default)

Re: "Toxic"

[personal profile] dethtoll 2015-03-15 10:08 pm (UTC)(link)
I'd say the main characteristic of a toxic person is that they're bad for your mental or physical wellness.

This has been my definition, too.

Re: "Toxic"

(Anonymous) 2015-03-15 11:03 pm (UTC)(link)
DA

That's how I'd define it. There are people I wouldn't call "abusive" or "harmful" because there is no tangible abuse or clear-cut harm taking place. Toxic people don't always even realize they're behaving in ways that cause others stress and pain, whereas abusive or harmful people treat people badly deliberately to glean some satisfaction from it.

Someone who constantly, but without any deliberate malice, goes on about something they know upsets you and drags you into things that cause you great deals of stress and anxiety would be toxic, but not abusive.

I suppose I see toxic in it's traditional sense of something that's got the potential to cause a great deal of harm if it's misused. Like some people, given the right circumstances, can cause you a great deal of mental or emotional distress, despite not being in and of themselves bad people.
diet_poison: (Default)

Re: "Toxic"

[personal profile] diet_poison 2015-03-16 02:08 am (UTC)(link)
This is a really good description.