case: (Default)
Case ([personal profile] case) wrote in [community profile] fandomsecrets2015-03-28 03:57 pm

[ SECRET POST #3006 ]


⌈ Secret Post #3006 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 06 pages, 140 secrets from Secret Submission Post #430.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

(Anonymous) 2015-03-29 03:15 am (UTC)(link)
This is going to sound regrettably Libertarian, but just because some people make stupid choices doesn't mean everyone should have their choices taken away from them. I don't really see that as a thing to be glad about, but power to you, I suppose.

(Anonymous) 2015-03-29 04:28 am (UTC)(link)
+1
toshi_hakari: (Default)

[personal profile] toshi_hakari 2015-03-29 09:07 am (UTC)(link)
If people call their child "Moxie Crimefighter" and other stupid shit, I'd rather there were laws in the US to stop this madness.

No one wants to "take a choice" away, but save a child from potential harm. Choosing a fandom related name is walking a fine line between "It's alright" and "your child will be terribly bullied and made fun of for the rest of their life".

(Anonymous) 2015-03-29 05:46 pm (UTC)(link)
There are American systems in place to prevent names like "Hitler" and "KillAllBlacks" from being given to children, but I have yet to meet a child who was completely immune to bullying because their parents gifted them with a perfect shining name.

It's kinda really really victim blaming to go "Well you named your child Jacobson Wright. Of COURSE everyone's going to call them Jacobs WRONG all through school!"

toshi_hakari: (Default)

[personal profile] toshi_hakari 2015-03-29 05:50 pm (UTC)(link)
How the hell is it victim blaming? Of course people could potentially make fun of any name, but do you really fail to see how easy it is to make fun of a child named "Sherlock Watson"? Come on now. Just because people are allowed to name their child what they want doesn't mean they have to.

(Anonymous) 2015-03-29 06:29 pm (UTC)(link)
"Of course people can rape anyone they want but don't you see how much more tempting it is when the victim's pretty?"
toshi_hakari: (Default)

[personal profile] toshi_hakari 2015-03-29 06:41 pm (UTC)(link)
You're basically defending the parents' right to choose any name they want, but you're not thinking of the child. Do parents ask their kids before they give them a fandom name? No, they don't.

I am blaming the parents, not the child. Just because you can give your child a name like "Moxie Crimefighter", "Sherlock Watson" or "Fluttershy Studmuffin" doesn't mean you HAVE to. Is that really that hard to get?

I highly doubt any child is going to be happy with these sort of names. You pretend to be concerned for the "victim", while you're actually not.

(Anonymous) 2015-03-29 07:53 pm (UTC)(link)
Except there's people up thread talking about knowing "Eowyn"s and "Arwen"s and even lady "Sherlock"s who love their name.

Sure they might hate them. They might hate them if you give them a super common name too. When I was in school "Cathy" was ridiculously common and almost every Cathy changed her name later just because she was tired of being Cathy #7.

But sheesh, sometime you have to put the blame on the bullies. You sound like one of those "But.. but you CAN'T let little boys wear princess dresses because KIDS WILL TEASE THEM. Or let girls wear pants. Or let your kid pick out their own clothes. They must CONFORM PERFECTLY. Lets all shave their heads and name them Bob and grey shapeless uniforms and once we hammer out anything that could possibly set them apart in any way then the precious children will be safe from being teased for individuality!"
toshi_hakari: (Default)

[personal profile] toshi_hakari 2015-03-29 08:28 pm (UTC)(link)
Wow, you're reading WAY too much into my comment. I never said anyone has to conform in order not to be bullied. I was bullied myself and I would never side with people making fun of others for being different. There is a difference between individuality that you yourself pursue and individuality that someone else chooses for you. What if someone doesn't want a fandom related name? What if choices parents made for their kid isn't what the kid wanted?

THAT is what I wanted to say with my comment. We aren't talking about the child's own choice. If kids are happy with a fandom related name, that is awesome. If a boy wants to wear dresses and play with dolls, amazing! If a child doesn't want to be conformed to a gender, that's great.

But that's not what we're talking about. We're talking about someone else making a choice for a child without the child's consent. While a name might not sound like a huge deal, it can be.

(Anonymous) 2015-03-29 08:46 pm (UTC)(link)
So you're saying no child should be named until they're 18 and able to make a responsible decision on it?

I mean I understand that sometimes names can suck. A good friend is trans and hated going through early life as Cathy instead of John until he could change it legally, but that doesn't mean no one should ever give a child a gendered name in case they might be trans.

Being a parent means making choices for a child without their consent. That's the very root of being a parent! You're given a small thing that is unable to make choices for itself yet and your job is to make them for them, until they can make them for themselves. It's why parents put winter coats on kids even if they scream that they want to run out into the snow naked. It's why parents put them to bed. It's why parents feed them fruits and vegetables instead of letting them eat nothing but sugar. It's why parents stop kids from drinking the cleaning liquids locked up under the kitchen sink.

It's why there's so much debate on if some choices, like spanking or circumcision, should just be left to parents or if there's too great a risk for harm that can't be undone. You can't just shrug and go "Ehh, a newborn can make all the choices for themselves!"

(Anonymous) 2015-03-29 09:27 pm (UTC)(link)
Either you live on a different planet or you're deliberately misinterpreting their comment.

They aren't saying that a parent shouldn't make choices for their child. They're saying that a parent should make responsible choices and should have the child's best interests at heart when they make choices for them. Giving a child a name like Fluttershy or Bilbo, regardless of how people later in life may treat the child because of that name, shows that you don't have the child's best interests in mind.

It isn't victim blaming to acknowledge that a parent can, through selfishness and carelessness, set their child up for failure or hurt.

Though I suppose it was foolish of me to expect more from you, considering that you compared their comments to rape apologism. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

(Anonymous) 2015-03-30 05:27 pm (UTC)(link)
And I'm saying that worrying about bullying over a name is a pretty stupid thing to have as your top priority, since names have little to no influence on childhood bullying and don't seem to have any correlation to if the child will be happy with their name or not.

I mean you could get into the fact that traditionally non-WASPy names are so much less likely to even get to the interview stage of a job in the USA. You can go with traditionally female names get graded more harshly by teachers and professors even if they've never met the student and are less likely to get to the interview stage, especially in male dominated fields. Are parents terrible if they name their Asian girl something like Kimiko, knowing they're hitting her with a double whammy of not being able to find a job later?
toshi_hakari: (Default)

[personal profile] toshi_hakari 2015-03-30 04:39 am (UTC)(link)
No, I wasn't saying that. I do think however that as a parent you at least have the responsibility to not give your child a name that might harm their chances in life. We're not talking about a gendered name here in the slightest, because let's be honest, you cannot possibly know if your child will be cis or trans. But a fandom related name that isn't nice sounding? Imagine someone called their child Sailormoon as a first name. Or Pikachu. While Arwen, Eowyn or Sherlock might still be okay, there's names that just sound ridiculous. What if the child has no interest in fandom? Just because we as parents love fandom culture and the series/book/movie we named the kid after, does not mean the child will love it.

Choosing a fandom related name for a child as a parent is not the same as trying to dress them appropriately in winter so they don't freeze, feeding them healthy food so they don't get sick and locking away medicine and cleaning products so they don't poison themselves. Seriously.

(Anonymous) 2015-03-31 05:05 am (UTC)(link)
Penn Jillette!