Case (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
case) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
fandomsecrets2015-03-28 03:57 pm
case) wrote in fandomsecrets2015-03-28 03:57 pm
[ SECRET POST #3006 ]
⌈ Secret Post #3006 ⌋
Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.
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Notes:
Secrets Left to Post: 06 pages, 140 secrets from Secret Submission Post #430.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.
no subject
TW for transphobia (with a note for language that my ex is much, much older and the terminology he uses around trans was very different in 2002 than now)
Holly wrote a blog entry on feminism and how it's not about man-hating that I actually agreed with. (She being extremely conservative, we usually agreed on jack and shit. :P)
So I posted to it, telling her that I agreed, that I liked men and was marrying one. (Her blog entry and my comment can be found here: http://hollylisle.com/greylog/archives/00000300.html ) (NOTE: Holly deleted this a long time ago)
She wrote me back, wanting to know why I'd lied on her blog, why I hadn't outright said I was a lesbian. I was confused, because Robert had come out to her as a preop female-to-male transsexual the year before and she was fine with it; in fact, she was very understanding and supportive.
Here is my response to her and her subsequent reply:
> I didn't lie. Robert and I are going to be handfasted this November,
> which we are treating like a marriage, and legally married as soon as
> possible, which won't be until after he can get his surgery. I am not
> in a lesbian relationship and it would be lying to say I was. Robert's
> transsexual, but that does *not* mean that he isn't a man. His
> condition's a birth defect and it's wrong to treat him differently
> because of it. I realize his condition is often misunderstood; here's
> the link to a good informative article.
> http://transsexual.org/aprimer.html :)
>
> Nonny
Then you're lying to yourself, too. Okay, just wanted to know where you were coming from.
Just for the record, and so everyone is clear on where I stand on this, the only way anyone can be a man (or woman) is to be born one. With the full package, whatever that package might be, whether testes and a penis, or ovaries and a uterus. And to grow up with all the experiences that shape him or her -- the expectations and the reactions. I'm aware of what the PCThink on this is on transsexuals, and it's bullshit. I don't have a problem with your relationship or with Robert's surgery, I refer to Robert as "he" for the same reason I referred to some of my uncle's boyfriends as "she" (it was their preferred form of address), but saying it's so doesn't make it so. My uncle was gay in spite of the fact that he sometimes dated men who wanted to be women, and if you're in a relationship with another woman, that would make you a lesbian. Or bi, if you've been in relationships with men, too. Whatever. Once Robert has his surgery, you'll be married to a woman with a penis, with all the memories of having been a woman, and with all the life experiences of a woman.
As for the birth defect issue -- my aunt has a birth defect. She has a uterus and ovaries, two testicles and a penis. She was born with them. She also has some serious gender issues, and if she
suddenly wanted me to call her Hank instead of Helen, I wouldn't think twice. My sister has a birth defect. She has cerebral palsy -- was born with it, is mentally retarded and has some physical problems, too.
But having a shit life, being abused and developing psychological issues because of it is not the same thing as a birth defect.
This is another case of "Words matter," Nonny. Unless Robert has the extra chromasomes that make this a birth defect, it's a psychological problem.
If this makes me terribly non-PC, too bad. I don't think anyone thought I was too far left on the PC scale anyway.
Holly
To add to that, she's a horrific writing educator, which is especially bad considering that's how she's making a living these days. For instance, she told my ex he couldn't write his Asimov-homage robot novel, because "readers won't identify with any character that isn't human" and "it won't sell". She was very strict on "what won't sell." She told the entire board at one point not to bother writing LGBT characters because her "agent said" that "they don't sell." Mind, this agent represented Mercedes Lackey and Marion Zimmer Bradley, who both had LOTS of queer characters in their fiction. My guess at this point is that Holly epically failed at writing her lesbian character, and thus was told she'd do better changing her to straight. Considering some of her commentary on lesbians, and the above letter, I find this quite likely.
On top of that, there's at least three major shitstorms I can think of she's caused in about the last five years. One was while she was writing romance novels to support herself. She decided to, on her blog, deride romance as "porn" and how she'd never publish it (and at several other points had connected the romance genre with porn -- note, when she refers to "romantica", that was the term used at the time for sexy romances). This is probably the mildest of the bunch: http://dearauthor.com/features/letters-of-opinion/foot-in-mouth-disease-affecting-fantasy-sector/
Another was when she decided to claim that chain bookstores were the reason her books weren't selling and basically asked her readership to boycott chains and go to indie bookstores instead. Needless to say, people who worked at chain bookstores like Borders and B&N were not pleased. http://dearauthor.com/features/letters-of-opinion/authors-behaving-badly-holly-lisle/
She also posted an e-mail from a reader who disagreed with her political rants and said she'd be trashing her books. Holly then invited her commenters to bash the woman in question: http://karenknowsbest.com/2008/06/13/holly-lisle-on-making-friends-and-influencing-readers/
So, yeah. Holly Lisle has a... history. Do I have a grudge? Why yes. Yes, I do.