Case (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
case) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
fandomsecrets2015-04-02 06:50 pm
case) wrote in fandomsecrets2015-04-02 06:50 pm
[ SECRET POST #3011 ]
⌈ Secret Post #3011 ⌋
Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.
01.
__________________________________________________
02.
(Transformers: War for Cybertron)
__________________________________________________
03.
[iZombie]
__________________________________________________
04.
[Amazingphil]
__________________________________________________
05.
[How to get away with murder/Scandal]
__________________________________________________
06.
[Russell Brand]
__________________________________________________
07.
[Hand of Fate]
__________________________________________________
08.
[Homestuck, The Nostalgia Critic, Channel Awesome]
__________________________________________________
09.
__________________________________________________
10.
(An American Tail)
__________________________________________________
11.
[Mark Steel]
__________________________________________________
12.
[Once Upon a Time]
__________________________________________________
13.
[X-Files, The Lone Gunmen]
__________________________________________________
14.
[Divergent series]
__________________________________________________
15.
[One Piece]
__________________________________________________
16.
[Criminal Minds: Derek Morgan]
__________________________________________________
17.
[Bad Suns: Salt music video]
__________________________________________________
18.
[Accuracy of Death/Sweet Rain/Shinigami no seido]
__________________________________________________
19.
[Steven Universe]
__________________________________________________
20.
[One Piece]
__________________________________________________
21.
__________________________________________________
22.
Notes:
Secrets Left to Post: 01 pages, 023 secrets from Secret Submission Post #430.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.
Re: Failure to launch
(Anonymous) 2015-04-03 07:41 am (UTC)(link)That said: your bf has declared he has no intention of moving out. Believe him. Are you really willing to live with that indefinitely?
You asked, will he grow out of it? No, he won't. In all probability, this situation will remain unchanged for years - decades, even. He's made it clear that he isn't interested in what you want. Probably the only thing that would get him to move would be if his parents threw him out. (I know a lot of people like that - see below for just one extreme example).
So what do you want more, someone who you can be together with and have the sort of proper grown-up life you clearly want, or this guy? Evidently you can't have both.
Also note that he's been so well spoiled at home, even if you somehow got him to move in with you, it's unlikely he'd pull his weight in terms of all the responsibilities of adulthood. Even if he were theoretically willing, chances are that once he finds out how much work is involved in being grown-up, he'd shuck most of the responsibilities off on to you. (And since he is in no way willing, if you forced him into moving by issuing an ultimatum, all the more likely he'd think it's "only fair" that you do all the work, since this is what YOU wanted.)
You and he do not want the same things out of life. It is not something you just have to live with, though, if the current situation is making you sufficiently unhappy. He doesn't have to do something "bad" for you to break up with him. Make yourself available to find someone you're actually compatible with in the long-term.
Tl;dr: "dump them".
Boring anecdote time...
I have a cousin (female FWIW, men are not the only ones to pull this shit) who is in her FIFTIES and still lives with her parents because she refuses to give up all the home comforts. (She moved out once, a couple of decades back; that lasted six months. When her rent was up, she moved right back home and hasn't refused to even consider budging again since.) She's lost boyfriends over it. She doesn't care. Literally the only thing that will change the dynamic is when her parents are too old to look after her any more, which I guess will happen some time in the next few years. Even now, with her parents in their late 70s/early 80s, she barely lifts a finger around the house, and thinks she's "doing her share" by doing the occasional chore.